OPENING SCENE
The cityscape of San Francisco at night, there is a person walking the top of a nearby building, climbing up on a lift, preparing for something.
Next we see a man lighting up a cigarette at an outdoor cafe, as an angered maitre’d looks on in disgust. The man is Sergei Cluvarias and he’s eating a meal with his girlfriend Ariana.
MAITRE'D: Excuse me, sir, there's no smoking.
SERGEI: We're outside.
MAITRE'D: It's our policy. I don't make the rules.
SERGEI: Then change your policy. It doesn't make any sense. We are outside, for God's sake!
ARIANA: Sergei, what are you trying to prove?
SERGEI: I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just trying to enjoy a cigarette.
MAITRE'D: Sir, if you don't put that out, I'm going to have to call the police.
SERGEI: Fine. I'm putting it out. There.
SERGEI flicks the unlit cigarette at the maitre’d – customers looked shocked.
SERGEI: Are you happy? Are you happy?! Is everybody happy?
People weakly applaud.
SERGEI: This is how it started in Nazi germany, you know?
All of a sudden, the masked assailant jetsons down from above on the fire escape, Sergei looks alarmed.
MAN: Call 911!
[ Telephone dialing ]
The assailant karate chops the phone out of the maitre’d’s hand.
MAN #2: Oh, my god, he's got a gun!
SERGEI: What are you doing?
Suddenly, Sergei is fatally shot in the chest by the dark-clothed and hooded assailant. Ariana jumps up and screams. People at the cafe panic and they run for their lives.
ARIANA: Aah! Aah!
The assailant grabs onto to the pole for the restaurant canopy, does a aerobatic spin and then takes off on foot up the street.
*OPENING CREDITS*
*SCENE CHANGE*
The outdoor cafe, Adrian is doing his Zen Sherlock Holmes thing once more, sizing up the scene without a word spoken with solely his hands as officers of the law look on. One in particularly almost looks like a fan, he stands next to Disher.
OFFICER MYERS: Man, we really lucked out. That's Adrian Monk.
DISHER: Who?
OFFICER MYERS: He's the best crime scene investigator in the department. We studied all his cases at the academy.
DISHER: Huh, really? Never heard of him.
OFFICER MYERS: Oh, I can't believe he's here. It's like meeting Mick Jagger.
We see Adrian go over to whisper something to Sharona standing close by.
OFFICER MYERS: Oh, that's Sharona, his nurse.
DISHER: He has a nurse?
OFFICER MYERS: When his wife was killed, he didn't leave the house for, like, 3 1/2 years, until he met her. Now he can't do anything without her. She's pretty hot, huh?
DISHER: You think so? Hey, maybe they're together.
OFFICER MYERS: No, Monk's not with anyone. He's still hung up on his late wife. That's the one case he can't solve. Ha ha. Look at him -- Adrian Monk. Oh, he's the man. Whew.
Adrian speaks to the captain and finally Stottlemeyer comes up to Officer Myers.
Stottlemeyer: Hey there. What's your name, son?
OFFICER MYERS: Myers.
Stottlemeyer: Officer Myers, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the area.
OFFICER MYERS: Me? What'd I do?
STOTTLEMEYER: Nothing, but it's your socks. They don't match.
OFFICER MYERS: My socks?
He lifts up the bottom of his pants, we see his socks are black and nearly identical.
OFFICER MYERS: What -- I lost one, sir, so I -- they're pretty close.
STOTTLEMEYER: Look, I couldn't care less about your socks. It's Monk. You're distracting him. He can't concentrate.
Adrian is rubbing his temple while talking to Sharona a distance away, he looks distressed.
MONK: What's taking so long?
STOTTLEMEYER: Maybe next time.
Officer Myers looks dejected as he wanders off in confusion, Disher is just laughing to himself in amusement. Finally Stottlemeyer joins Adrian and Sharona.
STOTTLEMEYER: Ah. Okey-dokey, bad man all gone. He's directing traffic on Ridgewood Avenue.
MONK: Did he understand?
STOTTLEMEYER: No, he didn't understand. I've known you a long time, Adrian, and I don't understand.
SHARONA: Can we just focus on the work now?
MONK: OK.
STOTTLEMEYER: All right, it's 12:30, the place is packed. Everybody's having a good time.
Stottlemeyer slips into a little performance, reenacting the crime that took place the night before, with the karate chop kick, the gunshot and the whole nine yards. His officers as well as Adrian and Sharona look on in admiration.
STOTTLEMEYER: The perpetrator comes down the fire escape and leaps down.
MONK: Wait a minute, wait a minute. He leaps down?
STOTTLEMEYER: Yes, leaps down. Now, the maitre d' is trying to call 911 on the cell phone, comes to confront the perp. The perp does a spin move, kicks the phone out of the maitre’d's hand.
The captain does his karate spin move. It’s impressive.
MONK: Really?
STOTTLEMEYER: At this point, he pulls a gun, fires one round right through the guy's heart. A kill shot.
Adrian walks up behind the captain for a better look.
MONK: From here? What is that? 30 feet.
STOTTLEMEYER: 34. I know, that's a hell of a shot.
DISHER: Look at this.
Randy shows Adrian the bullet’s remains in a plastic baggy.
STOTTLEMEYER: We pulled that slug out of the planter box.
Adrian looks at the splintered bullet in his hand.
MONK: What did he use, a cannon?
STOTTLEMEYER: It's a .454 from a Ruger Casull.
DISHER: They use it on safaris to stop elephants.
Sharona sounds a little shocked.
SHARONA: Elephants?
Adrian walks closer to the chair where Sergei once sat, Stottlemeyer follows him. Sharona and Randy walk after them.
MONK: And who was the victim?
DISHER: Uh, his name is Sergei Cluvarias. They're running it now.
MONK: Table's set for two. Who was his date?
STOTTLEMEYER: Some broad. She ran off. We'll have a sketch soon.
Adrian bends over the table to inspect it close up. It’s in disarray.
MONK: Uh-huh..Where is the sugar?
DISHER: Sugar?
We see a close up of the empty sugar bowl, with just a trace of unrefined sugar lining it.
MONK: The sugar cubes. This bowl's empty. All the other bowls are full.
We see now that the bowls are brimming with cubes on the other tables.
STOTTLEMEYER: You're right. What's that mean?
MONK: I don't know. What about the cashier?
STOTTLEMEYER: No, showed zero interest. This wasn't about money.
DISHER: Or it was, and he got scared away.
Adrian picks up something off another table with his fingers.
STOTTLEMEYER: What's that?
MONK: Wood shavings.
STOTTLEMEYER: Wood shavings?
MONK: Sawdust?
STOTTLEMEYER: Randy!
Randy comes over with another bag to retrieve the evidence.
MONK: What happened next?
STOTTLEMEYER: Well, the getaway, which is why you're here. I thought this might be right up your alley.
DISHER: No pun intended.
Both Stottlemeyer and Adrian shoot Disher a strange look. They have no idea what he’s talking about.
MONK: What pun is that?
DISHER: Because of the alley.
Stottlemeyer gives him a cross look and Disher clams up. Randy begins folding up the little plastic baggy in his hands.
STOTTLEMEYER: Shecky, can I continue? All right. For once, the witnesses are all on the same page. They all saw the perp jump to this table, and then leaped up to this bar
He comes along showing them as if it was just happening, and the bar that holds the sign for the restaurant with a twirling motion with his hands as he brings them out into the street.
STOTTLEMEYER: …and did a somersault, and then over the valet, runs down the street and makes a left turn down the alley.
Adrian stands speechless as he looks around him, he is beginning to tie the facts together.
MONK: Is there a circus in town?
DISHER: A circus?
An officer hands something to Randy who is still up on the sidewalk beside Sharona.
STOTTLEMEYER: Ha ha. Circus. That makes a lot of sense.
Adrian is smiling to himself, he already knows he’s on the right track – he doesn’t need validation of it.
Randy comes out with the case file in his hand and glances over it.
DISHER: Sir?
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah?
DISHER: We just got a positive on the victim. He's the master of ceremony at the Dratch & Denby Traveling Circus.
STOTTLEMEYER: Master of ceremonies?
DISHER: Yeah, the ringmaster.
STOTTLEMEYER: At the circus?
DISHER: The circus.
MONK: The circus.
He knew all along he was right!
*SCENE CHANGE*
The circus. It’s an outdoor event with colorful tents, sword-swallowing acrobats, clowns on stilts, carnival attractions, women lifting weights and animals galore. As the quartet walk through the front gates – Disher is enthralled, Stottlemeyer is slightly annoyed, Sharona is too and Adrian is greatly agitated. Disher is reading off a little pad and giving narration to Sharona and Adrian behind him.
DISHER: Oh, wow! Dratch & Denby Circus. Founded in 1947. They do 400 shows a year in 65 different towns. Cool!
A fireblower freaks Adrian who recoils a bit but then keeps on moving.
DISHER: Ha ha ha. Payroll, 240 people.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah, and he's using the term"people" very loosely.
There’s a bearded lady and the weight-lifting woman who walk past Stottlemeyer. Just then someone bangs into Sharona.
SHARONA: Ooh! You okay?
MONK: I'm not really in my comfort zone here.
We see behind Adrian a man on stilts and the fire-breathing performer again, that makes Adrian jump once more.
SHARONA: You have a comfort zone?
MONK: Yes, I have a comfort zone.
A woman snake charmer sticks a python in Adrian’s face. He jumps.
SHARONA: I've never seen your comfort zone.
MONK: It's not very big. It's, uh...
He tries to size it up with his hands.
MONK: …it's kind of small. I-I don't havea comfort zone.
A clown with a hula hoop goes past the startled Adrian. Sharona doesn’t look upset in the least. Another clown with big green hair blinks at Adrian, they keep moving as Stottlemeyer and Disher guide them.
SHARONA: Where do we start?
STOTTLEMEYER: Well, we follow the gun. There's a Ruger Casull handgun registered to an employee here.
DISHER: Yeah, his name's Nikolai Petroff. He's, uh, one of the animal trainers.
Adrian and Sharona stop behind the two cops and they decide to split up at this point.
MONK: You go on ahead. We're going to poke around on our own.
STOTTLEMEYER: Alright, meet you back here in a bit, but stay out of trouble.
Randy gets side-tracked by one of the carnival events where a kid is ready to shoot for a prize with a toy rifle, he asks to try it and the captain watches him in disbelief. The captain gets him to leave it alone.
STOTTLEMEYER: Randy!
*SCENE CHANGE*
Adrian and Sharona are coming around another carnival event called ‘Shooting Gallery’ when a man in white-faced makeup stops them, he’s juggling some oranges.
JUGGLER: Excuse me. Uh, can you toss me one of those?
Adrian notices two oranges on a stand to his right, he picks up one without question. But, he seems very hard-pressed to actually toss it at him, unable to judge it right. He tries once, twice but still can’t.
JUGGLER: Go ahead. It's okay! Just throw it.
Adrian still keeps hesitating, pretending to toss it underhand but can’t do it. The juggler is trying to keep his cool in front of the audience starting to form. He’s still juggling the ones he has and waiting for the next one from Adrian.
JUGGLER: Yep. Just go ahead and throw it! I got it. And throw it.
Adrian crouches down to throw it overhand, and still can’t bring himself to do it. The performer and Sharona are growing impatient.
JUGGLER: Just -- just throw it.
SHARONA: Throw the ball. He says just to throw it!
JUGGLER: Throw it -- now!
Suddenly Adrian flings it right into the Juggler’s face and the man grabs his eye in pain. Sharona groans loudly and closes her eyes in disgust. Adrian makes a bee-line and Sharona apologizes for him.
SHARONA: Oh![ Groans ] Aah!
MONK: Let's go!
SHARONA: Sorry.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Adrian and Sharona are wandering under some tent ropes to go to the stables.
SHARONA: So what's the plan?
MONK: We find the stables.
SHARONA: Why the stables?
MONK: Missing sugar cubes.
Sharona smiles at him, instantly getting it.
SHARONA: Very good.
*SCENE CHANGE*
The stables and an open running area for the horses. As they come up to the pen, Sharona walks right in with a horse being groomed, Adrian darts around to the outside instead. Sharona begins to admire a beautiful stallion there. A woman comes up to Adrian from the other side, it’s Ariana Dakkar from the cafe.
MONK: Hi. Hi, I'm Adrian Monk, and, uh, this is Sharona Fleming.
Sharona smiles and begins to pet the horse.
SHARONA: That's a beautiful horse.
ARIANA: She's a percheron, one of the strongest horses in the world.
MONK: What are you doing? What are you -– don't -- don't touch the horse.
SHARONA: Why not?
MONK: People sit on that – sweaty circus people.
Ariana gives him an insulted look.
MONK: No offense. Do you want a wipe?
Sharona stops petting the horse and glares angrily at Adrian.
SHARONA: Will it make you happy?
MONK: No, but take a wipe.
He actually offers Sharona his little packet of handy wipes, she takes it from him.
MONK: What is your name?
ARIANA: Ariana Dakkar.
MONK: Miss Dakkar, we're investigating the death of Sergei Cluvarias.
ARIANA: Why talk to me?
MONK: You were with him last night, weren't you? At the cafe when he was killed.
ARIANA: Who told you that?
MONK: No one told me. You shouldn't have taken all the sugar cubes from the table.
ARIANA: I shouldn't have run away, I know, but I was scared. I was sure she was going to kill me, too.
MONK: "She"? You think the killer was a woman.
Ariana’s demeanour changes, she’s decidedly angry as she answers Adrian.
ARIANA: I don't think anything. I know exactly who it was! I know she was crazy, but I never thought she would try something in public.
SHARONA: Who?
ARIANA: Natasia Lovara. She calls herself The Queen of The Sky.
MONK: An acrobat.
ARIANA: Sergei's ex-wife. Jealous bitch!
As she continues to talk, she goes off to reach into her purse for a grooming impliment and Adrian spots something key, but doesn’t say anything just yet.
ARIANA: She couldn't stand the thought of him having a life. If she's miserable, everybody else has to be miserable. She tried to kill him before, six months ago, but there wasn't enough evidence to indict her.
SHARONA: If you knew who did it, why didn't you go to the police?
Ariana looks down and doesn’t say anything, so Adrian does.
MONK: She was afraid. You're not a citizen yet, but you're about to take your naturalization test. She was afraid to draw attention to herself.
Ariana looks shocked.
ARIANA: How did you know that?
We see Adrian indicate a pamphlet peeking out of Ariana’s purse on the ground. Sharona smiles in admiration.
MONK: That pamphlet in your bag -- you're studying the U.S. Constitution, something no citizen would ever do. Good luck, by the way.
Ariana is duly amazed.
ARIANA: Thank you – Mr. Monk.
SHARONA: Thank you.
Sharona and Adrian share a knowing smile and then part company.
SHARONA: We'll be in touch.
Adrian wanders off and Sharona bends under the fence to follow him, as she does an elephant suddenly appears from nowhere and trumpets his trunk at her. Sharona screams and drops her notepad. She can’t move, frozen in place by fear, she brings her hand up to her throat.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Stottlemeyer and Disher are by the wild cats’ cage, with one of the handlers. They look around for a bit and then walk up to the handler himself. Disher tries to throw his weight around.
DISHER: Nikolai Petroff?
NIKOLAI: Who's asking?
Randy shows off his badge on his belt under his coat. Nikolai just laughs at him.
DISHER: This shiny little piece of metal's asking. Are you Nikolai Petroff?
NIKOLAI: Are you trying to scare me, huh? This pussycat weighs a couple of hundred pounds. It could rip me apart in a heartbeat. I ain't scared of her. Ha ha ha. You think I'm scared of you?
The captain now steps up to bat and shows him who’s really in charge.
STOTTLEMEYER: Excuse me. You may not be scared of the lieutenant, but you've got plenty of reason to be scared of me, 'cause I got a little cage like that downtown. It's not much bigger than that, actually, and it's not a whole lot friendlier. And if you obstruct my investigation, sir, for one moment further, you're going to spend some time in it. What's your name?
NIKOLAI: Yeah, okay. I'm Nikolai Petroff. Can we make this fast? I have a show in 30 minutes.
STOTTLEMEYER: You're not going to cancel the show after what happened?
NIKOLAI: Most people around here are celebrating.
STOTTLEMEYER: Really? I take it Sergei wasn't very well-liked?
NIKOLAI: Not by me. Well, it's no secret. You're going to find out anyway. Until last week, I was with Ariana.
DISHER: The woman he was with last night.
NIKOLAI: To hell with both of them.
STOTTLEMEYER: What is it you do around here?
NIKOLAI: I'm a wrangler. Anton the Great goes into the cage. I watch his back.
STOTTLEMEYER: You watch his back, so you've got a gun in case there's a problem.
NIKOLAI: That's right.
STOTTLEMEYER: And that gun's a .454 Ruger Casull?
NIKOLAI: That's right.
STOTTLEMEYER: Can we see it, please?
He says nothing further but leads them into a nearby tent.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Interior of the tent. A tarp is pulled back and we see that the lock on Nikolai’s trunk has been smashed.
NIKOLAI: What happened?
STOTTLEMEYER: You don't know?
NIKOLAI: I swear to God I checked it last night.
He goes for the trunk, when Randy steps in and takes over. He bends down, and with an orchestrated manuever to barely touch the sides to avoid prints – he opens the top.
DISHER: Sir, sir, just step back, please.
The spot for the gun is empty, there is only an indentation.
NIKOLAI: Where is it?
STOTTLEMEYER: I was hoping you could tell me. Phone it in, get S.I.D. down here right away. You, sir, are going to have to find somebody else to feed your kitty cat. You're coming with me.
*SCENE CHANGE*
In another tent, Sharona is sitting alone in the stands, her head down and quiet. Adrian finds her and comes running in. He’s gratiful he’s located her.
MONK: There you are. Are you okay?
Sharona doesn’t really acknowledge him, her head still down.
SHARONA: I'm fine.
MONK: I turned around, and you weren't there. I like it when I turn around and you're there.
She sounds in tears as she mutters to herself.
SHARONA: I'm -- I'm sorry. It's just -- I don't know.
He claps his hands, he’s ready to go. Adrian is already starting out the entrance, set in his investigative mode.
MONK: It's okay. Let's go. I think we should talk to Natasia, the ex-wife. I got a good feeling about her.
He hesitates when he notices she hasn’t joined him. He turns back to her.
MONK: I can't help but notice you're not moving.
SHARONA: Are you blind? What kind of detective are you? Can't you see that I'm upset?
He holds out his hands in confusion. He walks over to her.
MONK: You said you were fine.
She lowers her head again and growls to herself…
SHARONA: Impossible...
Adrian sits down beside her and looks at her.
MONK: What? What's going on?
He looks at her a long time, concern written on his face as she sniffs a bit and is quiet. Finally she talks.
SHARONA: You promise you won't laugh?
MONK: I never laugh.
SHARONA: I'm scared of elephants.
He looks clearly baffled at her statement.
MONK: Elephants?
SHARONA: When I was 7, I went to the zoo, and I saw a baby girl fall into the elephant pit.
MONK: And she was hurt?
SHARONA: No, she was fine. They got her out, but it scared me to death, and now ever since then, whenever I see an elephant, I-I-I freak out, and I start shaking. I can't help it. I hate 'em.
Adrian begins to laugh.
MONK: Oh, brother!
Sharona is stunned at his reaction.
SHARONA: What's that supposed to mean?
MONK: Well, come on, Sharona. You're not a kid anymore. You just suck it up! We're on a job here. I need you now.
He stands up, claps once more and is ready to go. Sharona is appalled and just glares at him. She’s never looked more angry.
SHARONA: What did you just say?
MONK: I said I need you
SHARONA: No, no, no, no, no! Before that! Did you just tell me to suck it up?!
She points at herself, her face really bitter. Adrian looks like he’s really put his foot in it, and is dancing nervously in front of her. She begins waving the kleenex she has been using at him.
MONK: No.
SHARONA: You know, I can't believe you, Adrian! You have thousands of phobias and quirks that I have to deal with every single day, and I am always there for you! Aren't I?! Answer the question!! Yes or no?!
MONK: Yeah.
SHARONA: Right! I am!! And now I just have one tiny little problem, and you have the nerve to tell me to suck it up?! Don't you have any compassion?! You're the most selfish, inconsiderate man I have ever met!
MONK: Great. Now I'm upset.
She gives a wave of her hand in disgust, stands up and storms out the other way. Adrian fiddles with his hands, nervous that he’s lost her.
*SCENE CHANGE*
The tent of Natasia Lovara. She’s playing solitaire. Adrian and Sharona enter. Adrian enters first and then Sharona pushes aside the tent flaps angrily in her wake.
MONK: Oh! Ms. Lovara?
NATASIA: Come in.
MONK: I'm Adrian Monk. This is my assistant Sharona.
She stands there, like a stone and doesn’t react or greet Natasia.
MONK: She'll say hello later. I'm – we're –
He glances at Sharona who refuses to look at him now or assist him in any way.
MONK: …I'm investigating the murder of your ex-husband.
NATASIA: Of course. Whatever I can do.
He shakes Natasia’s hand and then clicks his fingers for Sharona to hand him a wipe. She just ignores him.
MONK: Wipe!
SHARONA: Suck it up!
Adrian ends up wiping off his hand on the front of his jacket.
MONK: Okay. Anyway, sorry to hear about Mr. Cluvarius.
NATASIA: If you are sorry, you didn't know him.
MONK: I understand it was not an amicable separation.
Natasia gives him a feline look and settles back in her chair.
NATASIA: Sergei was a terrible husband and a terrible ex-husband, but he's an excellent late husband. No, it was not, as you say, amicable. It'd be foolish of me to pretend otherwise. Everyone here knows how I felt.
MONK: I should warn you, ma'am, anything you say can be used as evidence against you. Are you taking notes?
Sharona just glances away in apathy, a tired look on her face.
SHARONA: No.
Adrian points to a sign near her chair that shows a trapeze artist that says "Natasia, Queen of the Sky"
MONK: Is this you?
NATASIA: Da.
MONK: And, uh, and you're also a sharpshooter.
We see a picture of her holding a gun on her end table.
NATASIA: Mm-hmm.
MONK: Where were you last night, Ms. Lovara?
NATASIA: I was here alone. I was reading Tolstoy.
Adrian picks up the book in question and examines it.
MONK: Uh-huh. This book? The spine hasn't been cracked. No bookmark, no pages folded over. How do you know where you stopped?
NATASIA: I remember where I stopped.
MONK: Could you excuse us?
He puts his arm around Sharona to her opposite shoulder to bring her aside, she shoves him off.
SHARONA: Get away from me.
MONK: Come on. Call the captain, tell him to meet us here. She's the guy --motive, no alibi, and she already tried to kill him once.
NATASIA: Mr. Monk, if you would like me to come with you, all you have to do is ask.
MONK: If you wouldn't mind.
NATASIA: Not at all, if you wouldn't mind getting the door.
Natasia comes around the table and we can now see her left foot in a cast and she’s in a wheelchair. Adrian looks baffled, even Sharona shrugs in amazement. Natasia leaves out of the tent.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Interrogation room. Nikolai is sitting waiting for the police to question him. Adrian, Stottlemeyer, Disher and Sharona stand on the other side of a one-way mirror watching him as they talk.
MONK: A leopard and panther wrangler.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yep, he works with the leopards and the panthers, and he's got a .454 Ruger Casull handgun, which he says he can't find.
DISHER: He had the hots for the horse trainer the vic was seeing. And get this -- he's a trapeze artist wannabe. He's been practicing. They say he's pretty good.
Randy takes a sip of his coffee.
STOTTLEMEYER: And that's how we spell primary suspect.
MONK: Hmm. He's left-handed.
We see the captain and Disher look back to see Nikolai drinking his water with his left hand. Adrian has a bottle of Sierra Springs himself.
STOTTLEMEYER: Well, yeah, he works in the circus.
MONK: What's that supposed to mean?
STOTTLEMEYER: They're freaks. They're all ambidextrous.
MONK: Says who?
STOTTLEMEYER: Circus people are ambidextrous. I read that somewhere.
MONK: I like the ex-wife. You should have seen her. She's cold as ice.
STOTTLEMEYER: Cold as ice with a broken foot.
MONK: She's got a bad temper.
STOTTLEMEYER: A bad temper with a broken foot.
MONK: You keep coming back to the foot.
STOTTLEMEYER: Monk, the killer did a somersault, and then ran away in front of witnesses.
MONK: That's precisely why I think it's her. Why else would the killer jump around like that in front of witnesses?
Sharona suddenly grabs his bottle of Sierra Springs.
MONK: There's only one reason -- to prove...
Suddenly, Adrian looks stunned as Sharona takes a big swig from his bottle.
MONK: …prove that she could.
She places it firmly back in his hand with a loud sigh of satisfaction, then wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She glares at him.
SHARONA: Suck it up!
Stottlemeyer and Disher look shocked at the display. They have no idea what’s going on.
STOTTLEMEYER: Are you guys all right?
MONK: Yeah, we're fine.
SHARONA: Fine.
STOTTLEMEYER: Okay, as I was saying, she has a broken foot.
MONK: It's in a cast. We don't know if it's really broken.
STOTTLEMEYER: We haven't exactly been sleeping here, Monk. Lieutenant?
Randy reads from the case file.
DISHER: Her story checks out. She broke her left foot two weeks ago in Kansas City.
We see the black and white flashback of Randy’s narrative.
DISHER: She always ended the show with something she called the triple tailspin. You know, it's her specialty move. Anyway, she, uh, missed the bar or something and fell 25 feet in front of 750 pretty freaked out people.
Sharona coughs in Adrian’s general direction, Adrian winches in pain and coughs himself. His voice sounds strained.
MONK: Ahem. She missed the net?
DISHER: She never used a net.
MONK: She go to the hospital?
DISHER: No, she's a Romani gypsy. They don't believe in doctors. She set the bone herself.
MONK: So she never saw a doctor, which means a doctor never saw her. Captain.
STOTTLEMEYER: All right, Monk. Lieutenant, see if our Queen of The Sky will consent to an x-ray.
Stottlemeyer rolls his eyes.
DISHER: Fine.
Randy leaves the room. Now he’s mad at Adrian too. It’s a rather tense room.
MONK: Thank you.
STOTTLEMEYER: You're welcome.
Adrian tries handing the Sierra Springs bottle to the very pissed off Sharona. She just glares at him.
MONK: You want to finish it?
Stottlemeyer walks up to the pair and tries to give them some advice. He takes the offered bottle Adrian is still holding out with a sarcastic face to Sharona. Adrian listens to the captain but rolls his eyes, and keeps his tongue.
STOTTLEMEYER: You know, when Karen and I were having trouble last year, we went to a marriage counselor, a guy named Mosely. Decent guy. He didn't help us much, but I'm sure Karen has the number if you'd like it.
SHARONA: We're not married, and if we ever get married, shoot me!
MONK: You know who you should never marry? The Elephant Man!
Adrian goes for the door but gives Sharona a bitter look before he leaves, closing the door behind him.
SHARONA: I'd marry the Elephant Man before I married you!
Both of them depart, leaving a very shocked and confused Captain Stottlemeyer in their wake.
*SCENE CHANGE*
The waiting room to the x-ray office. Adrian starts straightening the magazines on a table nearby, Sharona just deliberately puts her sneakered foot up to knock them off. She gives him a dour look.
SHARONA: S.I.U. You know what that means?
MONK: Yes, I know what it means.
The female doctor comes out with the results. Adrian walks over to Stottlemeyer to examine them closer.
DOCTOR: Here it is.
MONK: So, is it really broken?
DOCTOR: No, it's not broken.
MONK: Ha.
DOCTOR: It's shattered. Completely. The radiograph indicates multiple fractures of the tarsal and metatarsal bones consistent with a crush-type injury.
Stottlemeyer smiles at him, he knew he was right – is relishing the moment of rubbing it in. Adrian rubs his temple in frustration.
STOTTLEMEYER: Ooh!
Sharona is examining them too from her chair, but she doesn’t say anything.
DOCTOR: There are also fractures along the tibia and fibula at the medial and lateral malleoli.
STOTTLEMEYER: Ow!
DOCTOR: What happened to her?
STOTTLEMEYER: She fell 25 feet from a trapeze.
Adrian goes over to the door, looking pensive, he brings his joined hands up to his lips. He has to now rethink his entire investigation.
DOCTOR: That would do it.
STOTTLEMEYER: Doctor, let me ask you something -- somebody with an injury like this, could they do a somersault and then run away?
DOCTOR: That's impossible. The pain would kill her. She couldn't even hobble away.
Adrian walks back up to them with another thought.
MONK: What if she took pills – painkillers?
DOCTOR: We took a blood test before the x-ray. Came up negative. No drugs, no painkillers. She's clean.
STOTTLEMEYER: Thank you.
Sharona silently thinks to herself. Adrian just shakes his head.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Outside the x-ray room. Adrian, Sharona and Stottlemeyer walk out of the hospital. Sharona trots up to Adrian and blows a puff of smoke from a cigarette in his face.
MONK: What are you doing? You don't smoke.
SHARONA: I do now.
MONK: This is a hospital, for God's sake! You can't smoke in here!
They wait by the automatic doors and continue to argue, Stottlemeyer looks at them in frustration.
SHARONA: So? Suck it up.
MONK: Okay, I'll suck it up!
STOTTLEMEYER: You two stay here. I'll bring the car around.
He leaves but Sharona follows him.
SHARONA: No, I'm going with you.
Suddenly, Natasia wheels her chair up to Adrian as he’s about to leave. She smiles brightly at him.
NATASIA: Mr. Monk. Would you mind? I can't open it myself.
MONK: Can't you?
NATASIA: You saw the x-rays. Do you have any other questions?
MONK: Just one. How did you do it?
Her smile broadens as she looks up at him.
NATASIA: I like you, Mr. Monk. You appear to be a careful and cautious man, but inside, in your mind, you are like me. You are up there working without a net, risking everything. It is the only way to live. Am I right?
Adrian doesn’t answer her, but twitches. She smiles as she knows she has him.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Outdoor pen for the elephant, Dede. Heinz, her trainer is trying to show her a move when Natasia wheels up to him in her chair.
HEINZ with DEDE: [ Grunts ] All right.
HEINZ: Natasia. Over here!
NATASIA: Heinz.
HEINZ: Uh, thank you. Thank you for coming.
NATASIA: What did you want to see me about? Did your girlfriend forget her routine?
HEINZ: Ha ha. No. I just wanted you to know I got your back. Don't worry, I would never tell anyone.
NATASIA: Tell them about what, Heinz?
HEINZ: You know – about how you did it.
NATASIA: How I did what?
HEINZ: You know, um, my trailer is over there. A couple of nights ago, I couldn't sleep. I looked out of the window, and, uh, I saw you. Come on, don't make me say it. I always thought you were a smart woman, Natasia. Very smart. Very pretty.
NATASIA: What do you want – money?
HEINZ: Money? What would I do with money?
He gets down on one knee in front of her and looks her in the face.
HEINZ: I -- I just want to spend time with you. I – I like you.
Natasia leans in close to him and pours on the charm.
NATASIA: Heinz... but I like you, too.
HEINZ: Oh, I think we've got a lot to talk about. Maybe I can buy you a drink?
NATASIA: I would like that...tomorrow, after the matinee.
HEINZ: I'll come to your tent.
NATASIA: No, no, no. Better I meet you here. There's something I want to show you.
HEINZ: Good. Good.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Sharona’s apartment, she’s bending over several red tulips that she has just gotten to smell them, when the phone rings.
SHARONA: Hello?
We cut away to see Adrian on the payphones at the circus.
MONK: It's me -- Adrian. Adrian Monk – your boss.
SHARONA: I know. What do you want?
MONK: I'm at the circus. I thought you were going to meet me here?
SHARONA: I told you I was taking the day off.
As he’s talking, a brightly-dressed clown named Floppy walks up behind him and pretends to be using the phone. We notice Adrian’s phone hand is in a plastic glove and he’s looking at an instant camera he’s holding in his other hand. Floppy waves.
MONK: Are you allowed to do that?
SHARONA: No, so fire me. Please -- it'll be my birthday present. Got your flowers.
MONK: Oh, good, good.
SHARONA: The card was blank.
MONK: I know, I-I --I didn't know what to say, so I just --I just left it blank.
Floppy is at Adrian’s shoulder, he points at something off in the distance and Adrian looks.
MONK: How did you know they were from me?
Floppy gives a shocked look. The clown keeps acting up throughout the call, Adrian keeps looking back at him but he tries to act blissfully unaware.
SHARONA: They're all the same height, and all the flowers have the exact same number of petals on them.
MONK: Yeah, look, uh... Sharona, I-I just wanted to say I'm -- I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
Floppy begins to cry dramatically.
SHARONA: That's not good enough.
MONK: I'm very, very, very, very sorry.
SHARONA: You just don't get it!
Adrian turns to Floppy who is mimicking him and the clown pretends to clean the receiver with his glove.
MONK: Yes, I do. No, I-I don't.
SHARONA: It's not that easy. You can't just apologize. You have to really think about how you treat me, Adrian! You really hurt me, and you have to try to understand!
Suddenly, Adrian sees Natasia making her way across the fairgrounds and he runs off.
MONK: -- Wait, there she is! I got to go!
Sharona is left holding her phone and a dial tone on the other end.
SHARONA: Be careful…
Adrian removes his plastic glove and hangs up the phone. As he turns, Floppy pretends to be sprinting and finally Adrian has had enough. Floppy feels dejected and wanders off.
MONK: Please don't – don't do that.
Adrian tries to run up behind Natasia, readying his camera. As he does, Natasia turns and her foot sticks right out in the way. A group of balancing strong men nearby doing their acrobatic routine suddenly encounter Adrian falling into them and tumble to the ground as he tries to stand.
MONK: Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
NATASIA: Don't worry about them. They know how to fall. It's the first thing we learn. You brought your camera, Mr. Monk.
Adrian regains his composure and comes to stand in front of Natasia.
MONK: Oh, sure. I love it here. It's so upbeat.
NATASIA: You hate it here. You think I can walk. You're trying to catch me.
MONK: You're right. I was.
NATASIA: You saw the x-rays, Mr. Monk. How can I walk on this? I'm curious. What is your theory?
MONK: Some people have a very high threshold for pain. They can take it.
NATASIA: Mm, nice try, but any doctor will tell you it's impossible. Besides, I was married to Sergei for 15 years. That's enough pain for a lifetime.
MONK: You fell two weeks ago. Is that right?
NATASIA: Your point?
MONK: Your cast looks – looks like new. No scuff marks. It's not even discolored.
NATASIA: Again, nice try. My old one was itching.
MONK: Ah.
NATASIA: So I put a new one on four days ago.
[ Organ playing fanfare ]
NATASIA: The show is about to begin. You are missing it.
Adrian just grins at her, they are actually smiling rather smugly at one another.
MONK: You're wrong, Natasia. I'm not missing a thing.
MAN: The lights are coming on in the big top. Hurry up, folks, get your seats.
*SCENE CHANGE*
The interior to Dr. Kroger’s office. Adrian and the doctor are in their usual seats. Adrian looks visibly upset and the doctor picks up on it immediately.
KROGER: So, how's the case coming?
MONK: Good…not good. Bad. I have a suspect. She doesn't even deny she did it, but I can't prove a thing.
KROGER: Hmm. Well, how – how's that make you feel?
MONK: Angry.
KROGER: Okay, so what do you do when you feel angry?
MONK: I get mad.
KROGER: Adrian, you've had tough cases before. You usually don't get this rattled. What's going on with you and Sharona?
MONK: She's still not talking to me. She says I don't get it.
KROGER: Well, I-I think maybe she's right.
MONK: What don't I get? I don't understand.
KROGER: I can't tell you that.
MONK: You mean... you know, but you won't tell me?
KROGER: Adrian, you're going to have to figure this one out for yourself.
MONK: I'm sorry. I'm -- I want to make sure I understand this. I have a problem. You know the answer.
KROGER: That's right!
MONK: I'm paying you.
KROGER: That's right!
MONK: But you won't tell me.
KROGER: That's right! Adrian... the answer is inside you.
MONK: No, doctor, the answer is inside you. If you told me, I would hear it, and then the answer would be inside me.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Inside one of the circus tents, several members are waiting while Stottlemeyer and Disher examine the area for evidence. Disher has his head stuck in a large, colorful cannon.
STOTTLEMEYER: What do you got?
DISHER: Bingo!
STOTTLEMEYER: What exactly does "bingo" mean, Randy?
DISHER: We got the murder weapon. .454 Ruger Casull.
Stottlemeyer opens the side cabinet to the cannon, we see a bewildered Randy look up at him with his flashlight, in embarrassment he turns it off. The captain reaches in with a handkerchief and brings out the gun by the trigger and smells it.
STOTTLEMEYER: Now, that's been fired recently.
DISHER: Any prints?
STOTTLEMEYER: Nope, it's been oiled down. How'd it get in there?
DISHER: It's the backup cannon. The cannonball guy says anybody could have dropped it in. They haven't used it in a week.
The cannonball man is giving Randy an aggrivated look. They are all waiting to practice their performance.
STOTTLEMEYER: Backup cannon? Good Lord! Get that down to ballistics. Put it on the fast track.
He gives the gun to a plain-clothed officer behind him and closes the cannon cover.
CANNONBALL GUY: Excuse me. Are you guys about done?
DISHER: Sir, could you step back? This is official police business!
CANNONBALL GUY: Maybe I should come to your office and root through your stuff. How'd you like that, huh?
Randy just glares angrily off into space as Stottlemeyer walks over to where he stands on the hay bails.
DISHER: I hate that cannonball!!
*SCENE CHANGE*
Sharona’s apartment. You can hear her outside as she struggles with some grocery bags, she’s calling out to Benjy from inside the apartment.
SHARONA: Benjy, bring your bike around back! How many times do I have to tell you? God!
As she opens the door, she sees Adrian in the kitchen with Benjy waiting for her.
SHARONA: Adrian.
MONK: Hello. It's me -- Adrian!
SHARONA: I know. I'm looking right at you.
MONK: Listen, Sharona...uh, I've been thinking about it, you know, it, and, uh, I just want to say...
He pulls out some index cards and reads from them, Benjy just watches him quietly.
MONK: "About your fear of elephants, I was way out of line. I shouldn't have belittled you just because you were being... irrational."
Sharona stops putting away her groceries and glares at Adrian. The once smiling Adrian now looks nervous, not realizing what he’s done – Sharona looks appalled as Benjy groans knowing he’s put his foot in it.
SHARONA: Is that it?
BENJY: Uh-oh.
SHARONA: My fear is irrational? As opposed to – to what, your fears?
MONK: Well, the stuff I'm afraid of is, you know, based on fact.
SHARONA: It is?
MONK: Like germs.
SHARONA: Like, um, crooked paintings and -- and – and sidewalk cracks and – and food touching and the wind?
Adrian looks to Benjy for validation.
MONK: Hey, the wind can kill. Hurricane Edna?
SHARONA: Milk?
MONK: At least they're things people actually encounter. You have to make an appointment to see an elephant. You have to sign up for a safari or something.
SHARONA: You don't get it. You never will.
Benjy decides to leave while the getting is good, but Adrian stops him.
BENJY: I'm going to go play some video games.
MONK: Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't forget about your bike! If you don't do it, your mom's going to have to do it. Let's give her a break.
BENJY: Oh – Okay.
SHARONA: What did you say?
Adrian stands up from putting something in a cupboard and looks nervous like he’s done something wrong again.
MONK: N-nothing.
She walks up to him and corners him near the counter, she stands close to him.
SHARONA: No. No, no, no. Don't be scared. It was good. You said "let's give her a break." That was empathy. That means you're thinking about how I felt. I think you're getting it now.
Adrian smiles and reaches out to touch her arm, but she softly bats his hand away.
MONK: I am. So we're back to where we were?
SHARONA: No. But it's a start.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Back at the circus and the open pen of Dede and her trainer, Heinz. They are practicing crushing a watermelon under her foot atop a upside-down barrel. From off in the sidelines, Natasia watches them with some opera glasses, she gets an idea.
HEINZ: Burundi! Good. Steady, steady, no, no! No, no! Ungowa! Ungowa!
We see the tabletop in Natasia’s room, she has a set of batteries from her purse and a couple of walkie-talkies, obviously just bought and two rolls of duct tape. She puts the batteries in the walkie-talkies. And, wipes clean the set with her scarf.
Next Natasia goes up to Dede under one of the tents and asks her through gentle commands to bend down for her so she can place one of the walkie-talkies behind the elephant’s ear and tape it in place.
NATASIA: Dede, bend down! That's it. Good girl.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Outside Dede’s pen again. Adrian is walking along, leading Sharona by the arm to where Dede and Heinz await them. Sharona has no idea what’s going on.
SHARONA: Why are you dragging me back here?
MONK: Well, you'll see. Have a little faith, okay?
She sees the elephant and draws back suddenly in fear. When she does, Adrian grabs a hold of her arm and has to do everything in his power to keep her from running off the other way. She’s terrified.
SHARONA: [ Gasps ] No, no, Adrian, are you crazy?! What are you doing?!
Adrian tries to calm her by putting out his hand and begging her to stop.
MONK: Look, I-I spoke to the trainer earlier. I told him about your problem, and we just thought that if you met the elephant, if you got to know her, maybe you could get over your...fear.
SHARONA: Thank you, but I can't! I can't, and I won't! I'm not doing this!
Heinz walks up to them. Eventually, Adrian lets her go and Heinz offers the weary Sharona his hand in greeting. She shakes it.
HEINZ: Mr. Monk, ah. Is this your friend?
MONK: Yes, this is Sharona Fleming. This is Edgar Heinz. This is –
Adrian then holds his hand out in pride to introduce her to the elephant standing behind them.
MONK: Right, and this is Dede.
HEINZ: There's nothing to be afraid of, Miss Fleming. Nothing.
Adrian appears to be petting her – at least from Sharona’s vantage point. But as we get closer to the otherside of the elephant – we see Adrian is simply stroking the ‘air’ near Dede.
MONK: Look, see? I'm petting her. Me. I'm petting her.
HEINZ: Elephants are very passive. They're like children. Dede wouldn't hurt a fly.
MONK: Really. Now you pet her.
Adrian tries to take her arm again and gently pull her along. She is still resisting him somewhat.
SHARONA: I can't believe you did this. I can't believe it.
MONK: Come on, you don't -- you don't want to end up like me.
He mimicks a twitch and finally convinces her to move.
MONK: If -- if I can do it, anybody can do it. Come on. Here you go. Just -- just like I did. Go ahead. G-go ahead. Come on.
Slowly, Sharona touches the elephants trunk and then takes her hand away.
HEINZ: Oh, she likes you. She likes you. Um, we were just about to rehearse a couple of tricks. Would you like to watch?
MONK: Sure. Sure.
Sharona really looks unsure.
SHARONA: I really don't want to do this.
Sharona and Adrian walk over to the right of the elephant out of the way of the act.
HEINZ: Yeah. Good, good. Dede... back. Back. Ungowa.
Sharona is still muttering a bit angrily to Adrian.
SHARONA: I don't want to do this.
HEINZ: Burundi. Ungowa.
Dede crushes another watermelon under her big foot on the barrel, from off in the distance we spy Natasia with her walkie-talkie. She puts up the antenna and waits her turn.
HEINZ: And now for the grand finale.
Heinz wipes the barrel clean with his baton and lays his head down where the watermelon once was. Sharona freaks. Adrian tries to be comforting.
SHARONA: Oh, God!
MONK: Come on now. Don't worry. He knows what he's doing.
NATASIA: [ Whispers ] Dede...
HEINZ: Burundi!
Elephant trumpets.
NATASIA: Ungowa!
Inside Dede’s ear we hear –
NATASIA: [ Whispers ] Dede... ungowa!
Suddenly, we hear the sounds clearly of Heinz’s head being crushed. Sharona screams and buries her head in Adrian’s chest, she begins to cry. Adrian just looks on in shock.
SHARONA: Oh, my God!
*SCENE CHANGE*
Sharona’s apartment, Adrian is attending to her as she is sitting in a chair near the kitchen door to her living room. Adrian puts a nearby blanket over her in comfort.
MONK: Here you go. You want to sleep?
SHARONA: I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see it again. Oh, it was so horrible.
MONK: It's okay. I'm right here. I'll take care of you.
Her kettle in the kitchen starts whistling, Adrian goes over to get it.
MONK: Ah – one hot cocoa coming up! Here, I'm going to put on some music for you.
He turns on a little radio against the wall. It plays elevator music.
SHARONA: Thank you, Adrian.
Adrian is in the kitchen as he keeps talking. He puts the hot water into a cup, reads some instructions for it.
MONK: Oh, are you kidding? It's the least I could do. You've been there for me every day. And I spoke to that woman from animal control. She said it was just a freak accident. The odds against it were... 1,000 to 1.
Adrian then sprays some whip cream on to a spoon.
SHARONA: I really don't want to talk about it.
Adrian comes back into the living room with the spoon and the instructions, he holds out the spoon for Sharona’s inspection.
MONK: Good idea. Sorry. Is, uh, is this a dollop?
SHARONA: What?!
MONK: A dollop. It says, "add one dollop to the whipped cream."
Sharona is holding her head in her hand, she looks like she has a raging headache only growing worse.
SHARONA: I don't know. I think a dollop's like a teaspoon.
MONK: It doesn't say teaspoon. It says dollop.
SHARONA: It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be exact. It's like a pinch.
MONK: How many pinches to a dollop?
SHARONA: I don't know.
MONK: Maybe it's more like a schmear. I think it's three pinches to a schmear. Or... ah. Forget it. Forget it! I'll just make something else.
He goes over and chucks the whip cream with the instructions into the trash and then buries his face in the wall, kicking it in frustration.
SHARONA: What, you're throwing it out?
MONK: Nobody can make this cocoa. The recipe's impossible.
Sharona growls, throws off her blanket and goes into the kitchen herself, taking his spoon from him.
SHARONA: Fine! I'll do it!
MONK: Yeah, maybe you should do it. Do you mind if I sit down?
He proceeds to grab her blanket nearby and covers himself with it as he sits down in her spot.
SHARONA: What do you want in your cocoa?
MONK: Do you have any of those little marshmallows?
SHARONA: How many? 10?
MONK: Eight. I'll have eight. Eight's good. Make it eight.
Sharona comes back into the room with his cocoa and gives it to him.
SHARONA: Here!
He begins to count the floating marshmallows.
MONK: 1...
SHARONA: There's eight. You don't have to count.
MONK: 4...5...
Suddenly he stops and seems lost in thought.
SHARONA: What?
MONK: 1,000 to 1.
SHARONA: What's 1,000 to 1?
MONK: The odds of an elephant doing that.
SHARONA: What?
Adrian stares up at her, he’s got it.
MONK: It wasn't an accident.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Inside the tent at the circus with the acrobats. Natasia is coaching the trapeze artists high above her as in the distance we see a yellow jeep pull up. Behind it in walks Stottlemeyer, Adrian, and Sharona.
NATASIA: Energy! Phillipe, you're dragging your feet! Point your toes! Let's do it again!
STOTTLEMEYER: Excuse me. Natasia Lovara?
NATASIA: Da.
STOTTLEMEYER: I need to ask you one or two questions.
NATASIA: If this is about my ex-husband, you're wasting your time.
STOTTLEMEYER: This isn't only about Sergei, ma'am. You're also a suspect in the murder of Edgar Heinz, the elephant trainer.
NATASIA: Don't be ridiculous. That was an accident. Tragic.
MONK: No, it was homicide – premeditated. And we have the murder weapon right here. Lieutenant!
Adrian holds out his hand and Disher guides with some trainers Dede into the tent. Sharona freaks and runs over to Stottlemeyer’s side for protection. Stottlemeyer asks ‘What?’ And looks down at her.
MONK: You waited for Mr. Heinz to put his head under Dede's foot. And then you gave the command for the elephant to stomp. She is well-trained, weighs over 4 tons. A perfect killing machine.
Sharona begs to leave, Adrian waves her off and she runs out of the tent in fear.
SHARONA: Adrian, Adrian, I gotta go! Just tell me what happened. Tell me what happened.
NATASIA: But I was nowhere the pen when it happened.
MONK: That's true. You weren't there. You gave the command from across the midway over a walkie-talkie. Oh. Lieutenant, could you check behind the elephant's ear?
Disher flips back the ear and retrieves the walkie-talkie taped there.
DISHER: Got it!
STOTTLEMEYER: Careful with that, Randy! We need the prints.
MONK: Why kill Edgar Heinz?
Floppy the Clown comes back to torment Adrian, he begin mimicking him again behind his back.
MONK: Well, you had no choice. He knew that you had murdered your ex-husband that Monday night.
NATASIA: Mr. Monk, you are demented.
MONK: Nevertheless, you did it.
Adrian turns and confronts Floppy again in anger.
MONK: Excuse me, I'm – I'm summing up the case here.
Floppy moves away in frustration but never too far away.
NATASIA: The killer ran away. My foot is broken. You saw the x-ray.
We go into the black and white flashbacks of how Natasia committed the crime.
MONK: All week, I've been asking the wrong question. I've been asking if your foot was broken. I should've been asking when your foot was broken. It's true. You fell during a show two weeks ago, but it wasn't an accident. You said it yourself. The first thing you learn is how to fall. I'm guessing it was one of the best performances of your life, Natasia. And your fear of hospitals came in quite handy. There was no x-ray. Everyone just accepted the fact that your foot was broken.
Suddenly, Floppy sticks up his oversized show and flips it back, pretending to be in pain.
MONK: What is your problem?!
STOTTLEMEYER: Hey, clown, take a walk.
Floppy stomps off angrily, but now moves behind the captain.
MONK: The night of the murder, you slipped out of your cast and followed your ex-husband and his girlfriend. You waited until they were in a crowded restaurant. You needed witnesses to see you running. That was the key to your plan. I wasn't there, but I heard you were dazzling. You really are The Queen of The Sky.
NATASIA: An interesting theory, Mr. Monk. Perhaps you'd like to x-ray my foot again.
MONK: No need for that. I'm quite sure it really is broken.
NATASIA: Good.
STOTTLEMEYER: Now, you knew you'd be a suspect, and you knew that we'd want an x-ray.
Floppy walks up behind the captain and starts mimicking him instead, his hands in authority on his hips.
MONK: It's not an easy thing to do... breaking your own foot. After the murder, you came back here. It was late. Everyone was sleeping...
The flashback shows Dede stomping down by command onto Natasia’s foot and Heinz witnessing it from his trailer.
MONK: …Everyone except Dede's trainer. His trailer was right there. He probably woke up and looked outside.
Floppy hikes up his pants comically in relation to the captain. Adrian sees him and can’t concentrate.
MONK: Can't somebody do something about this clown?!
The captain turns to Floppy and gives him a piece of his mind.
STOTTLEMEYER: Look, I'm a police officer! Knock it off! Go ahead.
NATASIA: Like Tolstoy, you know how to tell a clever story, but you need proof. The elephant isn't talking. Anyone could've put that radio thing in her ear.
STOTTLEMEYER: Randy, take that down to the laboratory straightaway.
Floppy gives a wave of his hand with Stottlemeyer’s command towards Randy, still posturing.
MONK: I don't think they'll find any prints. She's too smart. I'm sure she wiped it down. Then again,that walkie looks brand-new...which means she had to put batteries in it. You did remember to wipe your prints off the batteries, didn't you, Natasia?
Natasia looks panicked, she hadn’t thought of that. Adrian has her. Just at that moment, Floppy pretends to draw a gun and distracts everyone again.
FLOPPY: Wocka-wocka!
Stottlemeyer grabs a hold of him and forces his hands behind his back.
STOTTLEMEYER: All right, that's it, freak! You're under arrest!
FLOPPY: For what?!
STOTTLEMEYER: For impersonating an officer!
Natasia sees her opening, kicking Adrian in the shins so he doubles over, she swings into the nearby jeep and tries to make a getaway. There’s mass confusion as the cops try to stop her.
STOTTLEMEYER: Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, get her! Get her!
As she drives like mad out of the tent, she heads straight into the path that Sharona is walking across. She looks up and is horrified to see the jeep is barring down on her. Just then, Dede steps in the way, saving Sharona.
SHARONA: Aah! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Randy draws his gun on Natasia and commands the other officers to do their thing in arresting her with a set of cuffs. Stottlemeyer looks on in amusement as Natasia is frustrated.
DISHER: Don't move! Go, go!
NATASIA: [ Muttering in Russian ] …Batteries!!
Adrian runs to Sharona’s side immediately, she’s crying and shaking.
MONK: Are you all right? You must've been so frightened. See, I'm empathizing with you. I'm putting myself in your shoes.
She glares angrily up at him.
SHARONA: Will you shut up?!
MONK: Okay, that's you getting annoyed at me because I won't shut up. So, um, that's me being compassionate and sensitive. I feel your pain.
SHARONA: Oh God!
MONK: I'm feeling your pain.
Sharona walks off in frustration. Adrian just keeps talking.
SHARONA: I've created a monster.
MONK: I hear that. I'm hearing what you're saying.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Outside Dede’s pen, Sharona is petting Dede softly as they feed her some food. Benjy is standing with them.
BENJY: See mom, I told you she was friendly!
MONK: How do you feel?
SHARONA: Good. I think I'm over it. Maybe there's hope for you.
Suddenly, Adrian lifts his shoe in disgust.
MONK: Ugh!
SHARONA: What's wrong?
MONK: I think I stepped in something.
SHARONA: Where?
MONK: It's right here.
SHARONA: I don't see anything.
MONK: I definitely stepped in something. I have to go home.
He starts wandering off as Sharona and Benjy have no choice but to follow.
SHARONA: We just got here!
MONK: I want to go home!
SHARONA: Oh, just suck it up!
MONK: I don't think it's my turn to suck it up. I think it's your turn to suck it up.
BENJY: Hey, why don't you both suck it up?
Sharona stops and looks at him.
SHARONA: Excuse me, do you kiss your mom with that mouth? You should. Come here.
She kisses him as her voice turns tender.
BENJY: I love you, mom.
SHARONA: I love you, too.
