OPENING SCENE
The San Francisco skyline at night, pristine and shimmering. On the street, an old-fashioned trolley car rides past the scene and finally we close in on a building called 'Hammond Plaza' where Lawrence and Erin Hammond are stepping out to their car. There they are met by a crush of reporters who demand information from the famous financier. Lawrence Hammond tries to remain cool under pressure.
MAN: All right, here he comes.
WOMAN REPORTER: Mr. Hammond! Mr. Hammond! The S.E.C. Is saying you purposely misled your investors.
LAWRENCE: I can't comment on anything the S.E.C. Says or does. As you know, I'm meeting with the board of directors. I'll be able to tell you more about it in the morning. Thank you very much.
Mr. Hammond ducks past the reporters with his wife at his side for his car.
WOMAN REPORTER: Is there a possibility that charges will be filed? Mr. Hammond!
*SCENE CHANGE*
The Hammonds are making their way across town in their car. Lawrence is laughing.
LAWRENCE: Ha ha ha ha! I told you life with me would be interesting.
Erin just looks at him blaise, you can tell she's not that much impressed. She is noticeably younger than her husband.
ERIN: That one reporter was talking about criminal charges!
LAWRENCE: Don't worry about that. I'll let you know when to worry. Sky... line...Hills.
He types in his destination into his car's computer which chirps back in reply.
GPS COMPUTER: Skyline Hills resort -- estimated driving time -- 32 minutes.
GPS COMPUTER: Turn right onto market street. Get in the right lane now.
They turn down that street as the follow the car's directions. Immediately, Erin reaches over and turns on the radio. As she does, her face lights up considerably. She seems deeply interested in the words she hears come over the speakers.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Scott Gregorio steps up to the plate.
LAWRENCE: You and your damn baseball.
Erin ignores her husband, and listens intently.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Gregorio is within four home runs of breaking Darryl Grant's all-time single season record.
HAMMOND: Honey, please, I'm trying to think.
ERIN: I just want to hear the score.
Lawrence seems annoyed by the radio and by Erin at this point.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: He has six games to go. We could very well see history made this year.
GPS COMPUTER: Continue on Grace Street for two miles.
Lawrence looks down at the tiny map of the directions in front of him on the GPS screen. We then see a cut away to a masked assailant with a gun studying his watch, someone is waiting for the Hammonds beside their car.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Here's the pitch. Gregorio swings, and there it goes. He got all of that one, and it's gone! Home run number 71. Scott Gregorio is within three home runs of the all-time record.
GPS COMPUTER: Your destination is within three miles.
Lawrence turns off the radio, Erin looks alarmed. They are driving into what by all appearances seems to be an abandoned parking lot. It's obviously not where they want to be.
ERIN: Where are we?
LAWRENCE: It's a GPS system -- it's programmed to find the shortest route.
ERIN: Well, isn't it supposed to be on a lake?
The assailant is readying his gun.
GPS COMPUTER: Right turn into driveway!
LAWRENCE: Where the hell are we?
GPS COMPUTER: You have arrived at Skyline Hills Resort.
LAWRENCE: The hell I have!
Suddenly, from out of the darkness, a masked assailant steps forward and shoots several times into the passenger side window. He stops and runs in the other direction.
GPS COMPUTER: Thank you for using the Safe Voyage System.
*OPENING CREDITS*
It's a kid's baseball game in which Benjy and Captain Stottlemeyer's son, Jared are playing. Sharona and Adrian are in the stands and Stottlemeyer is co-coaching up front. It's as if he can't help himself. He's clapping and cheering him on as Jared is the pitcher and Benjy is up to bat.
STOTTLEMEYER: C'mon, Jared! Right over the plate!
Sharona and Adrian observe in the stands, Sharona applauds to with the crowd trying to cheer Benjy. Adrian seems just unsure why he's there.
SHARONA: Come on, Benjy! You can do it!!
Benjy poses with his bat ready to hit the ball. Sharona is freaking out and about ready to close her eyes. Adrian isn't even looking at the game, he's preoccupied with the scoreboard.
SHARONA: Oh my God! Oh my God! Ahh ahh - I can't watch! Adrian, tell me what's happening!
MONK: The three is crooked.
Sharona is hiding her eyes with her hands, Adrian points over at the scoreboard.
SHARONA: What three?
MONK: On the scoreboard! Why doesn't he fix it?
SHARONA: Adrian! I need you to watch the game! How's he doing?
She looks up and then covers her eyes again, Adrian can't tear himself away from the board.
MONK: One is upside-down...
Sharona looks at him in frustration again.
SHARONA: You can't tell if the one is upside-down!
MONK: I can tell! The whole scoreboard is like some surreal abstract art thing!
Now they are both looking in separate directions, both focused on something else.
SHARONA: Come on, Benjy - grab a piece of it!
STOTTLEMEYER: Come on, Jared - right down the middle! He's no hitter!
Sharona points at Jared across the ball field.
SHARONA: He's not eligible!
MONK: Who?
SHARONA: Stottlemeyer's son Jared - I think he's thirteen, he doesn't look twelve does he?
Adrian looks like he really doesn't want to get into the middle of an arguement with Sharona, but hasn't a choice.
MAN: Knock it out of the park, Benjy!!!
Meanwhile, Adrian is shouting at the guy attending the scoreboard. He is cupping his hand to his face and nearly shouting right into Sharona's ear.
MONK: Hey... the numbers are crooked! Somebody fix the scoreboard!
He gives up when he can tell his pleas are going unheard.
MONK: No wonder attendance is down...
Benjy misses the ball, and the umpire tells him 'Strike three!'. Poor Benjy looks already defeated. Stottlemeyer is applauding with pride at his son’s performance. Benjy again tries but fails.
UMPIRE: Strike three, you’re out!
Throwing down his bat, Benjy stalks off. The game is over.
SHARONA: Adrian, why don’t you go talk to him.
MONK: Me?
SHARONA: Yeah, give him a pep talk. He respects you!
MONK: He does? Why?
SHARONA: ‘Cause he doesn’t work for you!
She gets up and walks over the bleachers. Adrian looks for a moment as Sharona gets up, letting the insult sink in.
Meanwhile, as the players filter out of the field shaking the captain’s hand as they do and the other players, Sharona comes up to the captain - her hands on her hips. Jared is there, standing in front of his dad. Stottlemeyer is sucking nervously on a toothpick.
STOTTLEMEYER: Is there a problem?
SHARONA: Didn’t your son repeat the third grade?
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah, so what if he did?
SHARONA: How old is he?
The captain takes the toothpick from his mouth and looks down at his feet like a sheepish boy.
STOTTLEMEYER: He’s twelve.
SHARONA: Jared, what year were you born?
Jared is about to speak, but his dad stops him.
STOTTLEMEYER: Don’t answer that son. Alright, we’re going to huddle in the outfield and then we’re going out for pizza! Yeah!!
He rallies up the little troops and applauds, trying to seem light. But, then turns back to Sharona and in confidence...
STOTTLEMEYER: Alriight, he’s thirteen! But, I have a special dispensation from the league - he’s eligible.
SHARONA: How many parking tickets did you have to fix for that?
Now the captain is getting pissed.
STOTTLEMEYER: He’s eligible, Sharona - end of discussion. Excuse me, this is Stottlemeyer.
At this point Stottlemeyer’s phone rings and he answers it. Now we see Sharona giving up, looking over to see if Benjy is OK. He goes over to Adrian. Adrian is put on the spot as he sees Sharona smiling at him expectantly – never one to disappoint her – he realizes it’s now or never for the so called ‘pep talk’!
MONK: Hey! Hey – you looked good out there!
BENJY: What game were you watching? I sucked!
He throws down his bat, Adrian looks like a bit in agreement with him.
MONK: Yeah – you did kinda -
Benjy seems surprised at his honesty.
MONK: Listen, Benjy – um…
Adrian begins doing a little routine, first slapping his legs as he crouches down, then pretending to point to his head and nod. Then does some odd hand gestures. He tries to pretend to be inspiring, or at least like he knows what he’s doing.
MONK: Do me a favor and uh – your mom thinks I’m giving you a pep talk…
BENJY: Why?
MONK: I don’t know – I don’t know – because I’m a guy, you’re a – we’re two guys! I don’t know – I don’t know. Would you just kind of nod your head -
He does the weird hand gesture again. Benjy just seems confused. He makes the sign of the cross over himself.
MONK: And pretend I’m giving you some good advice…
BENJY: Uhhh…OK…
Adrian picks up Benjy’s bat, he looks unsure how to even hold it.
MONK: Great. OK, so – umm –
BENJY: Oh – ah – hands together.
Adrian quickly gets it. Now he’s gripping the bat with both hands.
MONK: Like this?
BENJY: Uh huh.
MONK: Yeah, that’s good – nod your head a little more, smile…
Benjy’s playing right along now, though part of him is probably really amused. Sharona comes running up.
SHARONA: Adrian! You got to go – you got a job!
She puts her arm around Benjy.
SHARONA: Lawrence Hammond was killed last night.
MONK: THE Lawrence Hammond?
SHARONA: AND his wife!
MONK: OK. Listen Benjy -
He starts swaying the bat around in front of him, comically.
MONK: Just keep practicing that swing, like we talked about and we’ll have another lesson tomorrow.
BENJY: OK…
He tosses the bat lightly to Benjy and he catches it.
MONK: Be careful…
BENJY: OK, Mr. Monk – thanks for everything…
Benjy is now clearly amused.
MONK: OK, Ben!
Sharona leans down and talks to Benjy one on one.
SHARONA: Go home with Mrs. Cargill and I’ll pick you up later.
She kisses him.
SHARONA: OK, I love you, you did so good today, huh.
Benjy wanders off.
BENJY: Yeah, right…
Adrian just puts aside Sharona’s fears as they walk away together.
MONK: He’s going to be OK. He’s going to be fine…
*SCENE CHANGE*
The crime scene. It’s an empty parking lot that is cordoned off with yellow police tape. Stottlemeyer arrives and steps under the tape. Disher and his officers greet him. He finishes talking on the phone.
STOTTLEMEYER: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Back up!
DISHER: His sister just IDed the body. It’s him!
STOTTLEMEYER: Ahhh…this is going to be a circus!
Stottlemeyer sniffs his jacket. He’s just come off the game and is still sweating a bit. He’s also dressed semi casual in a jacket, shirt, no tie, jeans and sneakers.
STOTTLEMEYER: Give me your tie!
Disher starts immediately to undo the knot on his to give it to him.
STOTTLEMEYER: Gimme your tie!
Disher gives it to him, pulling the whole tie from around his neck.
DISHER: How’d the game go?
Stottlemeyer puts the tie on in the same way.
STOTTLEMEYER: Randy, this is a double homicide.
DISHER: Sorry…
STOTTLEMEYER: I can’t talk about the game.
He then looks at Disher for a moment and realizes he’s out of earshot. He can’t help himself.
STOTTLEMEYER: We beat him. Three one. Jared pitched the whole game, he gave up two hits.
Disher smiled at him, Jared’s dad is unabashedly proud of him.
DISHER: Really?
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah, eight strike outs.
He sees Adrian and Sharona behind him and switches gears as he begins to walk away.
STOTTLEMEYER: Bring them up to speed alright, I got to go do my dog and pony show!
He walks off leaving Disher to attend to Adrian and Sharona. They come up to him.
DISHER: Monk! Sharona!
SHARONA: Lieutenant!
MONK: Is it really Lawrence Hammond?
DISHER: Yes it is!
MONK: What was he doing here?
DISHER: Well, we’re just kicking that around now. We think he got lost, or maybe he was meeting someone.
MONK: It doesn't make any sense.
He notices something in the car that catches his eye. He points out to Randy.
MONK: Isn't that -- what do you call it?
DISHER: Global positioning system. It was on, but it wasn't working. There was no disc in the computer.
MONK: Maybe somebody took it.
MONK: Maybe.
Adrian wanders away from the car sizing up other things around the scene, Sharona is busy taking notes.
MONK: The shooter was here... waiting. Hammond drives up...
DISHER: Yeah. Right. We found the casings. The shooter comes in here. Pop, pop. Pop, pop. Four rounds into the wife.
Sharona who is standing between them looks appalled.
SHARONA: Oh my God!
MONK: He shot the wife first? Then Hammond?
DISHER: Hammond was shot once, but it wasn't fatal. He tried to get away.
SHARONA: Oh my God!
DISHER: He gets out, runs. The shooter gets back into his car, runs him down.
SHARONA: Oh my God!
DISHER: But Hammond still wasn't dead.
SHARONA: Oh my God!
DISHER: In the morning, he crawled away.
SHARONA: Oh my God!
DISHER: He crawled for 2 1/2 miles.
When Sharona doesn’t immediately respond, both Adrian and Randy look at Sharona but she seems lost in thought and then they immediately focus on one another again. Their synchronization is perfect.
DISHER: Truck driver found him, 9 A.M., near Route12.
MONK: I'd like to talk to him.
DISHER: I'll get him.
Randy runs off and then the captain approaches them as Adrian examines the car a little more closely. We see them peering inside a smashed out window.
MONK: Captain... he shot the wife first? Why would he do that? I would've done the husband first. Wouldn't you?
STOTTLEMEYER: I don't know, Monk. It's never come up.
MONK: He didn't even stick around to make sure Hammond was dead.
STOTTLEMEYER: Maybe he got interrupted.
MONK: He lured them here somehow... to kill her.
STOTTLEMEYER: Who, the wife? She's a nobody. Lawrence Hammond's worth a billion dollars. He had at least a hundred enemies.
MONK: No. No, no, no, no. Lawrence Hammond is an afterthought. She was the primary.
DISHER: This is Norm Mosely. He was the truck diver who found Lawrence Hammond.
MONK: Was Mr. Hammond dead when you found him?
MOSELY: He was barely hanging on. He died before the paramedics showed up.
STOTTLEMEYER: Did he say anything?
MOSELY: Yes, sir. He said, "Girls can't eat 15 pizzas."
STOTTLEMEYER: Come again?
MOSELY: "Girls can't eat 15 pizzas."
STOTTLEMEYER: Is that it?
MOSELY: Yes, sir.
STOTTLEMEYER: You sure?
MOSELY: He said it, like, five times. Then he died.
STOTTLEMEYER: Girls can't eat 15 pizzas. What the hell does that mean?
SHARONA: Well, it's true. They can't.
DISHER: Well, that depends. How many girls are we talking about?
STOTTLEMEYER: Hang on. Were there any girls nearby eating pizza?
MOSELY: No, sir. I figured he was delirious, but he kept saying it.
MONK: Girls can't eat 15 pizzas. Nah... no, no, forget it. No, no, never mind, never mind.
*SCENE CHANGE*
We’re at a huge mansion, the Hammond’s residence. The door alone goes at least 20-30 feet up in the air, pure mahogany with a large fountain out front. It’s pretty amazing. Adrian diminutively knocks on it.
As they are let in we see an incredible stained glass ceiling in blue and green with a chandelier suspended from it. Adrian and Sharona step into the entrance on the white-marbled floors.
SHARONA: Not too shabby, huh?
BUTLER: Walk this way please.
The follow him a little bit more into the foyer. There is a large, ornate spiral staircase in front of them in cherywood with mottled marble pillars supporting it. Monk looks up around them.
MONK: Trudy and I almost bought this house.
Sharona looks shocked – especially when she realizes he was being sarcastic.
SHARONA: Really?
He gives her a glib look.
SHARONA: Adrian! You made a joke!! You were joking!
He’s taking it pretty casually, but Sharona is smiling.
SHARONA: You feelin’ OK?
He gives her a look as if to say ‘very funny!’ A woman approaches from the side hallway and comes up to greet them. She’s a middle-aged British lady, finely dressed.
MRS. JENKINS: Hello, I’m Robin Jenkins. I’m their – well – I was their housekeeper.
She shakes Sharona’s hand.
SHARONA: Oh, hello Mrs. Jenkins. I’m so sorry to bother you. Umm…I’m Sharona Fleming and this is my boss, Adrian Monk.
As if mechanical, Adrian doesn’t hesitate to shoot out his hand and shake Mrs. Jenkins’. Sharona immediately fishes out a wipe from her purse for him.
MRS. JENKINS: You’re with the police?
Adrian and Sharona answer at the same time.
SHARONA: No, not really…
MONK: Yes, I’m with the police…
SHARONA: We’re not really the police…
MONK: Used to be on the force…
SHARONA: We’re private consultants…
MONK: Discharged…
Mrs. Jenkins isn’t sure who they are by this point, neither do they.
SHARONA: It’s a long story.
Adrian wipes his hands while Sharona makes a sarcastic face. He looks around him.
MONK: How long did you work for the Hammonds?
MRS. JENKINS: Three years…
She begins to cry.
MRS. JENKINS: I started a few weeks before they were married…
SHARONA: Oh…I – I am so sorry. I – um – I know this is a really bad time…
Adrian looks uncomfortable with the display of emotion of the housekeeper, he seems more eager to look around.
MRS. JENKINS: I don’t know what I’m going to do. Can I have one of those?
She’s gesturing for a handy wipe that Adrian is holding.
MONK: I’m sorry, I only have four left.
Both Sharona and Mrs. Jenkins look at him in shock.
SHARONA: Um…we were hoping we could look around a little?
MRS. JENKINS: Ubah – certainly.
She looks a bit put off by Adrian but leads them into the hallway. They follow her.
MRS. JENKINS: There’s nothing left to see. The police were here all day yesterday. They took Mr. Hammond's computer and boxes of papers. His office and his bedroom are a mess.
MONK: His bedroom? They had separate bedrooms?
MRS. JENKINS: Yes. For the last year, Mr. Hammond slept in the east wing. Follow me.
MONK: Actually, I'd like to see her bedroom.
*SCENE CHANGE*
We’re inside Erin’s lovely, big bedroom all in white as the rest of the house. Adrian begins tinkering around with stuff on her dresser, examining everything. Sharona talks to Mrs. Jenkins’ by the door.
SHARONA: You know, separate bedrooms might've saved my marriage.
MONK: Was Mrs. Hammond a sports fan?
MRS. JENKINS: Just baseball. She never missed a game. You know, it's not true what the papers say.
SHARONA: What's that?
MRS. JENKINS: About Mr. Hammond. They make him out to be greedy and selfish, like a monster. But he wasn't like that at all. He was so kind... he never forgot your name or your kid's name or your birthday.
MONK: What about her?
MRS. JENKINS: Mrs. H.? She liked to keep busy. She had hobbies -- horseback riding, painting... she painted that.
We see a painting on the wall, Adrian looks at it a little closer.
MONK: Girls can't eat 15 pizzas.
MRS. JENKINS: Pardon me?
MONK: Those were Mr. Hammond's last words. Do they mean anything to you?
MRS. JENKINS: Girls...
SHARONA: Girls can't eat 15 pizzas.
MRS. JENKINS: What girls?
SHARONA: We don't know.
MRS. JENKINS: Maybe they've got stomach ache...from the pizza.
MONK: Mmm...no.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Back at the precinct, Disher is watching a baseball game on a tiny TV at his desk, a few of his co-workers are watching it over his shoulder. He seems proud of his team.
TV ANNOUNCER: All eyes on Scott Gregorio tonight as he attempts to create history. No baseball fan could ever forget this moment. It was three years ago. This is Darryl Grant hitting his historic 73rd home run. The question now is, how long will that record stand? Scott Gregorio's within three home runs with four games left to play.
DISHER: Scotty!!...
TV ANNOUNCER: If last night is any indication, he's going to be in trouble. Gregorio went 0-for-3 in Philly. He looked pretty shaky at the plate.
TV ANNOUNCER # 2: He's choking.
POLICE OFFICER: I was at the stadium Tuesday night. He was on fire.
DISHER: Well, some guys just can't handle the pressure, my friend. Not like you and me.
STOTTLEMEYER: Randy! Where is that list of people who might have had a grudge against Lawrence Hammond?
Randy panics and hides his mini TV under his desk, the other officer goes back to work. The look Stottlemeyer is giving his young lieutenant makes it apparent he knows his little secret.
DISHER: Still working on it, sir. It's like a phone book. I mean, everybody who had stock in the company had a reason to hate the guy.
Suddenly, Adrian and Sharona run across the room from a side door. Adrian looks enthusiastic and Sharona is sharing in his excitement.
MONK: Captain, I think we're on to something. Erin Hammond was having an affair.
STOTTLEMEYER: Oh, again with the wife.
MONK: There were four shampoo bottles in her bedroom from the Newport Inn...
SHARONA: Which is just two miles away from her house. The concierge says she's been there two or three times a month with some guy, but they never got a good look at him.
STOTTLEMEYER: Congratulations. Mrs. Hammond was having an affair.
Disher laughs at this with his superior like it was some big joke, when suddenly Stotttlemeyer’s expression drops.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah. All right. Yeah, I can't ignore that. Go down to the Newport Inn. I want you to interview the staff and bring a sketch artist.
DISHER: Yes, sir.
MONK: Who's this?
Adrian picks up a magazine from Disher’s desk.
DISHER: That's Scott Gregorio.
This doesn’t register anything with Adrian at all. Disher seems a bit exasperated.
DISHER: He's a baseball player... trying to break the single season home run record.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah, and, Monk, can we keep our eye on the prize here?
We see a picture very similar to the one in Erin’s bedroom in a magazine.
MONK: Is he an artist?
DISHER: Yeah, he likes to do some painting in his spare time.
Something triggers something in Adrian, he realizes a clue.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Inside Erin’s bedroom once more. Adrian is holding up the magazine and comparing it to her painting on the wall. Sharona is sitting behind him and looking over his shoulder.
SHARONA: Adrian, you're wrong! It is not the same artist.
MONK: I know it's not the same artist, but look at the window and the drapes. And the church in the background.
SHARONA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're right. It is the same church.
MONK: So, at some point, they were both in the same room.
SHARONA: Whoa, whoa, wait. So you're saying Lawrence Hammond's wife...
MONK: His murdered wife.
MONK: And Scott Gregorio...
MONK: Future hall of famer.
SHARONA: Are connected.
MONK: Bet on it.
*SCENE CHANGE*
An artist’s class surrounded by artists painting a live model. Adrian and Sharona wander amongst them looking for clues.
Sharona stops Adrian.
SHARONA: Adrian, Adrian! You were right! Look at the drapes – and the church outside! They both most have taken this class!
MONK: Oh yes…
We see that she’s correct, it’s just like the picture – except for one thing. There’s a naked man sprawled out on a stand in front of the artists. Adrian is immediately repulsed. Adrian turns away in shock.
MONK: Oh no! OK – ah Sharona – no. I can’t – I can’t do this!
SHARONA: Why? ‘Cause he’s naked?
He nods grimly.
SHARONA: You’ve never seen a naked man before?
MONK: No.
SHARONA: Well you’ve seen yourself naked, right?
Adrian grows exasperated at the thought and stares up at the ceiling.
MONK: Ahhh…just once!
SHARONA: Alright – let me do the talking!
She makes sure he doesn’t retreat as taking his arm, she drags him back over to stand in front of the model.
SHARONA: Mr. Henley?
NAKED GUY: Yes. I'm Frank Henley. Excuse me if I don't get up. My regular model called in sick.
SHARONA: Oh, that's okay. We spoke earlier. I'm Sharona Fleming. And...Adrian.
She grabs his arm and pulls him closer. He’s doing everything in his power to avoid looking at the model stretched out before him. He looks at his shoes, his hand, his watch, at the ceiling...Sharona makes him turn to face him, well sort of…
SHARONA: This is Adrian Monk.
MONK: Hi.
He waves without making any eye contact whatsoever.
SHARONA: Is this a bad time?
NAKED GUY: Oh, no, no, no. Not at all. Please make yourself comfortable. I am.
Adrian grabs Sharona and pulls her away from the man. She stops him as he tries to rush out of the room in embarrassment.
MONK: Okay, Sharona, let's go! I can't -- I just can't.
SHARONA: What about the case?
MONK: Forget about the case. We can't win 'em all!
SHARONA: So you're going to let a murderer go because you can't talk to a naked man?
MONK: Yes.
SHARONA: Oh, come on!
Sharona rolls her eyes and grabs his arm, dragging him back over to the guy.
SHARONA: Mr. Henley, this is only going to take a minute. Um, Erin Hammond was a student of yours last year, right?
NAKED GUY: That's right. For one semester. God rest her soul. You draw, Miss Fleming?
Adrian starts to fiddle with frustration at anything that will draw his attention away from the male model. Sharona grabs on to his shirt front to get him to calm down.
SHARONA: No, but my son Benjy really has the gift. Didn't get it from me, though.
Adrian straightens up a nearby vase from the still life and audible groans come from amongst the artists. Sharona turns and chastises Adrian.
NAKED GUY: Come on – please don’t touch anything!
Adrian accidentally looks at the man and then shuts his eyes tight in embarrassment.
MONK: Sorry. Sorry!
He lays the vase back down in it’s original position. He waves at the artists as if begging for forgiveness.
SHARONA: I understand that Scott Gregorio, the baseball player, was also a student of yours? Did they know each other?
Adrian begins tapping his watch and distracting himself behind Sharona.
NAKED GUY: Look, I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. Maybe they left together once or twice. They were both consenting adults, who am I to judge?
MONK: That’s – good - point. Thank you.
He reaches around Sharona and guides her away.
MONK: Interviews over…thank you…{whisper} Come on…
They begin to dash out of the studio. Adrian is in an immense hurry to get away. Sharona stands for a moment, trying to be polite.
SHARONA: Well, I guess that’s it…
Adrian is heard off screen.
MONK: That’s it!
She rolls her eyes at her boss.
SHARONA: Ah…thank you very much. Thank you.
The man is about ready to get up from his perch.
NAKED GUY: Anytime. Here wait, wait – let me see you out!
MONK: No – gahhh ah – no – that’s it! We can see ourselves out! Just stay there!
Sharona runs alongside him and looks thoroughly pissed. She leads him along by the arm.
SHARONA: What is your problem? The human body is a beautiful thing!
MONK: No! It’s not! Did you hear what he said? Erin Hammond and Scott Gregorio left together!
SHARONA: So what does that mean?
MONK: I don’t know yet, but I think it meant something to somebody!
*SCENE CHANGE*
Professional baseball field, it’s empty save some fans and a reporter talking to Scott Gregorio.
REPORTER: We haven’t seen any home runs for the last three games. What are you telling yourself?
The reporter offers Scott the mike. We see several female fans excitedly dancing around behind Scott. Then we spy Adrian and Sharona sitting in the stands. Adrian has a pair of sunglasses on.
SCOTT: I’ve been in a slump before, Dan. We’re working with the coaches…all it takes is one good swing of the bat and I’m right back in this.
SHARONA: He’s Benjy's hero.
Adrian is holding up his hand, as if meditating on Scott with some thought.
MONK: I thought I was Benjy’s hero?
REPORTER: Okay, I noticed the last few games, you had a little trouble with the breaking pitches. What are you doing about that?
SCOTT: Well, I took a little longer on B.P. today, and, uh, I think I've worked it out.
MONK: He loved her.
SHARONA: How do you know?
Adrian doesn’t really answer, he just kind of gives an air that he just knows.
REPORTER: Three more home runs, four games to go. Do you still think you can catch Darryl Grant?
SCOTT: I'm just trying to help my team win ball games. That's all I'm focusing on right now.
REPORTER: I appreciate you taking the time to talk to us on your day off, Scott. Hey, best of luck tomorrow.
Sharona stands up and moves around the stands where she and Adrian are sitting.
SHARONA: I'm going to get him.
FANS: Scott! Scott!
He starts frantically signing autographs for everyone, with a bright smile on his attractive face. He sees Sharona running up to him.
SCOTT: Thanks for coming out. Here you go.
SHARONA: Scott, Scott!
He looks ready to sign something for her, but she stops him.
SHARONA: No. No, no, no. It's a note from my friend. I think you should read it.
He reads the note and looks up. She signals to Adrian who sits cool and unemotional behind his sunglasses in the stands.
*SCENE CHANGE*
SHARONA: We think Erin was the real target of the attack, not her husband.
SCOTT: Why would you say that?
The trio are standing each individually in three separate rows of the empty seats as from the side we see them talking. Adrian starts walking down the aisle. Scott and Sharona follow him.
MONK: Think about it. Think about how you were affected by her death.
SHARONA: Your hitting streak.
MONK: Maybe somebody's trying to distract you.
Scott shoots out his hand and places it squarely across Adrian’s shoulder, stopping him.
SCOTT: I can't believe you said that. I know this sounds paranoid, but I was thinking the exact same thing.
MONK: Maybe it was the same guy who attacked you a couple of weeks ago.
SCOTT: You heard about that, huh? Yeah, I was outside the stadium. It was after a game. Some creep came at me with a baseball bat. I fought him off. He disappeared.
Adrian leaves the pair and starts walking further down the aisle, lost in thought.
SHARONA: Did you get a good look at him?
SCOTT: Nah, it happened too fast. That's when the team hired Heckle and Jeckle here to babysit me.
He signals the two big bodyguards standing close behind him. They don’t show any emotion. Adrian reaches down and puts up a seat that is out of line with the others with his handy wipe as he continues to talk.
SCOTT: What about the police? What are they doing?
SHARONA: Well, sometimes it takes them a day or two to catch up with us.
MONK: Meanwhile, I'm -- I'm working on it around the clock. I'm going to get that other one out in the bleachers.
Sharona rolls her eyes as she follows him.
SCOTT: Thank you. And if there's anything I can do to help... anything at all...
Adrian stops and turns to him, you can see he’s already dreamt a way to help in his head.
MONK: Really?
*SCENE CHANGE*
Back at the little league dugout. Benjy is practicing his game while Scott is coaching him nearby. Sharona and Adrian are in the stands.
SCOTT: Oh! Good swing!
BENJY: Really?
SCOTT: Yeah, you're a natural. Just remember, keep your weight on your back foot, and don't be afraid of the ball.
He swings and hits the ball, effortlessly. The bodyguards are now outfielders and go after it.
SCOTT: Yes! .
SHARONA: Good hit, Benjy!
Sharona begins applauding enthusiatically.
SCOTT: That is a double in any ball park in this country.
Sharona is beeming proudly from the small little-league stands, she is sitting next to Adrian as they watch Benjy and Scott play. Adrian claps as well.
SHARONA: Thank you, Adrian. I thought I'd thank you now, 'cause in a half an hour, you're probably going to piss me off again.
MONK: You're welcome.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Sharona is helping Benjy with his swing by feeding a ball machine to give him practice. Scott and Adrian are sitting on a bench watching them nearby.
SHARONA: Keep your eye on the ball!
SCOTT: I miss her so much. They say when people lose a leg, they can still feel it.
SHARONA: That was better!
SCOTT: That's what it feels like.
SHARONA: Keep your eye on the ball!
MONK: I know.
Sharona is cheering on Benjy as she watches him.
SHARONA: Better. That was better.
SCOTT: How do you just keep going? How do you keep working?
SHARONA: Keep your feet slanted! (There is more of her coaching dialogue in the background, but much of the same thing as we hear Adrian speak).
MONK: When Trudy fell in love with me, I was a detective. I was on the street, breaking cases. So I keep working. I keep trying to be the man she loved. That's all you can do. Be the man she loved.
Adrian looks very emotional as he stares at Benjy still taking his swings, he almost seems in tears.
SCOTT: Hey, Benjy! Don't forget HELP.
SHARONA: What's "HELP"?
SCOTT: H-E-L-P. Hands together, elbows up, level swing, patience.
MONK: H-E-L-P?
SCOTT: Yeah, it helps remember. It's a -- what do you call it?
Suddenly, Adrian’s eyes light up, he’s solved another piece of the puzzle.
MONK: Mnemonic device. Sharona! Call the captain!
*SCENE CHANGE*
We see a tow truck go past a car out in the crime scene parking lot, and then realize the license plate number is what Adrian was talking about. There is a forensics person dusting off a rearview mirror with a brush.
Back at the precinct in Stottlemeyer’s office, Adrian is so excited he forgets himself and leans on Stottlemeyer’s shoulder. Sharona is standing next to him. They are looking at a picture of a license plate from a car near the crime scene.
STOTTLEMEYER: G-C-E-1-5-P. Girls can't eat 15 pizzas!
MONK: It was a mnemonic device!
STOTTLEMEYER: I understand. That's good work, Monk.
Adrian is still very animated and hovering around the captain’s desk like a busy bee.
MONK: I remembered how the housekeeper said that Lawrence Hammond never forgot a birthday. A lot of successful people use little tricks to memorize information.
The captain is starting to lose patience.
STOTTLEMEYER: I said I understand.
MONK: But, obviously, Hammond made up the phrase to help him remember the license plate of the car that ran him down. "G" stands for "girls"...
Stottlemeyer glances up at Sharona warning her to get him under control. Sharona runs over to him and firmly pushes him down in a seat across from the captain’s desk, her hand on his shoulder. She whispers loudly down to him.
SHARONA: -- Adrian, Adrian, he gets it, okay? We all get it!
MONK: Girls can't eat 15 pizzas.
Stottlemeyer rolls his eyes with Adrian’s insistence to get in the last word. Suddenly, Randy runs in the office.
DISHER: Captain, the car is hot! It was stolen from the Presidio Sunday night.
He gives the captain a picture he has of the car.
STOTTLEMEYER: Is this blood on the bumper?
DISHER: Yes, sir, we have a positive match. It's Lawrence Hammond's! You ready for this?
Everyone pauses as the gleeful Randy waits in suspense. Everyone gives him a look of disbelief. Like waiting for the punchline.
STOTTLEMEYER: Ready for what? Just say it, Randy! What?
DISHER: We found this... underneath the rear seat cushion.
As Randy offers a little lunch baggie with a metallic CD in it, Adrian immediately reaches for it until Stottlemeyer quickly grabs it out of his grasp. He shoots Adrian a look and he backs down, biting his tongue in disappointment as Sharona pats his shoulder.
DISHER: It's for one of those global positioning systems. It's homemade. The guy programmed it himself.
STOTTLEMEYER: Well, this is what he used to lure Hammond and his wife to that industrial park. Right. Okay, start putting together a list of computer geeks who can do that sort of thing.
DISHER: Yes, sir. There's more...
Another long pregnant pause, Adrian looks up at him in suspense, by this time the captain is about ready to lose it. He tries to remain glib.
STOTTLEMEYER: And would you like to share it with us, Randy?
DISHER: The shooter abandoned the car in a parking lot. There was a security camera. We got a picture of him.
He hands the captain a large, blown up photograph of a man standing near the car in black and white. It’s a surveillance grab. It’s rather hard to make out any defining features. Adrian bends around with Sharona to take a close up look at it.
STOTTLEMEYER: Wait, that's it? They can't clean that up?
Randy looks disappointed, he’d thought he’d be pleased - you can tell. He takes the photo back from the captain and glances down at it.
DISHER: It is cleaned up. I mean, he was 50 feet away. Should I release it to the press?
STOTTLEMEYER: What's the point? I've seen better pictures of Bigfoot!
Adrian stands up next to Randy and looks at the picture he’s holding.
MONK: Captain... I've seen this guy before.
SHARONA: Who is he?
MONK: I can't remember, but I know that face. I've seen him before... somewhere.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Dr. Kroger’s office, Adrian is sitting in his usual place across from the psychiatrist.
MONK: I know that face! I just cannot remember where I've seen it.
KROGER: Adrian. Adrian, let's -- let's put the face aside for a minute. Let's put the case aside for a while, and we're going to talk about your life. I mean, after all, Adrian, that is what you're paying me for, okay? So, I understand you've been spending a lot of time with Benjy. Now, how does that feel?
MONK: Oh, he's a great kid.
KROGER: Yes, I know that. I'm asking, how does that feel?
Adrian’s expression drops as he really thinks about what he’s being asked.
MONK: It hurts. It hurts to be... with him.
Kroger seems surprised at his answer.
KROGER: Why? You and Trudy ever talk about having kids?
MONK: Trudy used to bring it up. I said there was no rush. We had all the time in the world. Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Adrian looks angered for a moment as he thinks about what he’s lost and he stares very directly at Kroger. So much so that he feels a bit uncomfortable and shifts in his chair.
KROGER: Okay, well, I hate to end the session on that note, but the hour is up.
MONK: No, it's not. It's only been 57 minutes.
The doctor looks down at his own watch in amazement.
KROGER: How'd you do that? You wearing a watch?
MONK: No.
KROGER: You could see my watch, right?
MONK: No. It's a gift.
KROGER: And a curse.
MONK: And a curse.
The bitterness on Adrian’s face is growing by each moment he sits there, like he’s sinking away so Kroger decides to divert his attention.
KROGER: Okay, okay, so we have, um, a few more minutes left. What would you like to talk about?
Suddenly, Adrian shoots out his hand and Kroger rolls his eyes.
MONK: That face --
*SCENE CHANGE*
We’re inside Lyle Turrow’s office, the publicist for Darryl Grant. Adrian is still going on as he did in the doctor’s office. Sharona is ignoring him what best she can, her nose in a magazine.
MONK: I have seen him before. I know it. I have seen that guy before. That guy -- I have seen him before! I know it! I have seen that guy before!
SHARONA: So, Adrian, do you think you've seen that guy before?
MONK: I know I have.
The receptionist comes out to greet them.
RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Monk -- Mr. Turrow will see you now.
*SCENE CHANGE*
They enter Mr. Turrow’s office, Lyle Turrow is engrossed in two things at the same time - the ad on the TV set behind him and his phone that he’s fielding a call from Darryl Grant himself.
TV ANNOUNCER: For the best price and best quality, come into one of our many bay area locations today.
TV ANNOUNCER #2: Baseball's Darryl Grant can break the single season record for home runs, but one thing he can't break is any storm window made by Parson's. Swiss-tempered, double-laminated safety glass. To protect your home, you, and your family.
DARRYL GRANT: With Parson's storm windows, the only break you'll be seeing is in the price.
TURLOW: I'm watching it right now. I've seen it, like, 20 times. Will you relax? No, the lighting's perfect. You look great!
Adrian is fussing with a kleenex, rubbing something off a basketball on display on a nearby shelf. Suddenly, Mr. Turlow spots him, you see his face flash in alarm.
TURLOW: Darryl, I'm going to have to call you back, all right? Who loves you? Great. Well, who else loves you? Me! Why do you tease me like that? Excuse me, excuse me, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
MONK: A bit of a smudge, like an ink stain. I think I got most of it.
Adrian stops what he’s doing and turns to Turlow and Sharona. Sharona looks appalled when she realizes what he’s done.
TURLOW: No, no, no, it's an autograph. Yeah, it's an 1988 all-star game ball signed by Michael Jordan.
Adrian opens up the kleenex and looks down at the stain. He’s almost unsure what to do.
MONK: Well, maybe he could sign it again.
TURLOW: Sure, I'll just call Michael. Ask him to stop by.
MONK: Thank God, I’m so relieved!
Sharona gives him a dirty look. Turlow goes back to his desk.
SHARONA: He’s being sarcastic!
Adrian looks back at the ball.
SHARONA: Give me that!
He hands her the wipe and goes over to the desk himself, looking a little left of center.
TURLOW: So – what can I do for you, Mr. Monk?
MONK: You represent Darryl Grant?
TURLOW: I have that honor, that was just him on the phone.
MONK: Well, as you know, Scott Gregorio is very close to breaking Mr. Grant’s home run record.
TURLOW: Not if he keeps having games like he did last night – what was he over three?
SHARONA: Well we think someone is trying to get to Scott Gregorio, either directly or indirectly.
TURLOW: Get to him? You’re talking about that lunatic with a bat two weeks ago?
MONK: We’re talking about a murder friday night of someone very close to Scott Gregorio.
TURLOW: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. Hold it. You're not saying -- you can't be saying you think Darryl Grant is involved.
MONK: You can't deny he had a motive. It's his record Gregorio is trying to break.
SHARONA: Where was your client friday night?
TURLOW: Darryl Grant is a sportscaster now. He was in Chicago covering a doubleheader. Two million people were watching. You want their names?
Adrian looks as if he believes him and his lead has just run dry.
SHARONA: He could've hired somebody.
TURLOW: No, no, no, not Darryl Grant. Look, this was taken last year.
He shows them a picture of two men together, one is Darryl.
TURLOW: This is Jerry Grierson breaking Darryl Grant's single season RBI record. Now, Darryl Grant was more proud of that record than the home runs. But look at this -- Darryl is the first guy on the field to congratulate him. Darryl Grant's a mensch! He's a standup guy who realizes that records are made to be broken. So I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Monk. Do I owe you any money for cleaning up?
MONK: No, I don't want any money.
SHARONA: He's joking again.
MONK: I was joking – back.
Adrian walks out of the office. Sharona stays behind for a moment.
SHARONA: Thank you.
TURLOW: Right. Keep in touch.
She makes a face at his snide behavior and follows Adrian from the office.
*SCENE CHANGE*
We’re back at the little league game, again Stottlemeyer is being the enthusiastic pseudo coach.
STOTTLEMEYER: Come on, Jared! It's a big inning, son, big inning! Come on! Crack that apple, boy!
WOMAN: Come on!
UMPIRE: Ball. Good eye, good eye.
Adrian is still preoccupied with the suspect’s picture in the back of his mind.
MONK: I can't... I remember...I know I have seen that guy before.
Sharona rubs Adrian’s shoulder, as she does he brings his hand up to touch hers, but she moves her hand away too quick. He looks a little disappointed. It’s a sweet moment that happens too fast. She begins to applaud.
SHARONA: Go, Cyclones!
STOTTLEMEYER: Come on, Jared! Pick that up!
The boy misses the swing and the umpire makes his call behind him.
UMPIRE: Strike three! You're out!
The captain runs up to the umpire, who is an old friend of his to argue the finding.
STOTTLEMEYER: What? No, no, no, no, no! Walter, walter, he checked his swing.
UMPIRE: Leland, he broke his wrists!
STOTTLEMEYER: He did not! I was standing right over there!
UMPIRE: He didn't go around!
STOTTLEMEYER: Jared, did you go around?
Jared is confused but shakes his head.
UMPIRE: Wait a minute, you can't ask him.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yes, I can. Why not? Don't you trust him?
UMPIRE: Leland, sit down! I mean it. You're outta line!
STOTTLEMEYER: No, you're outta line!!
UMPIRE: Back in the dugout, Leland!
They are nearly kicking dust at one another now as they come in close face to face, standing off. He sticks his finger in Leland’s face.
STOTTLEMEYER: Get your finger outta my face, Walter. What, you want the health department to come visit your restaurant?
UMPIRE: I don't have to take this... not for $20 a game! I quit!
The umpire stalks off in disgust. The captain realizes his bull headed behavior might cost the game. He looks suddenly apologetic.
STOTTLEMEYER: Walter! Walter, I'm sorry!
MAN: Why'd he do that? It doesn't make any sense.
STOTTLEMEYER He didn't go around!
Just then someone comes into the stands up to where Adrian and Sharona are sitting.
COACH: Excuse me, someone said you don't have a kid in this game.
MONK: Okay, I'll leave.
COACH: No, you don't have to leave. It means you can be the umpire.
MONK: Oh, uh, no, I don't think so.
COACH: Well, here's the thing. If we can't find an ump, we gotta call this game.
Sharona gives him a warning glance and makes her intentions clear.
SHARONA: Benjy!
Adrian sighs deeply, rolls his eyes and knows he doesn’t have a choice.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Adrian comes out to the field as the coach for the Cyclones introduces him.
COACH: Okay, we have a new umpire! We'll pick it up where we left off!
Stottlemeyer turns from talking to his son’s coach and seems in shock.
STOTTLEMEYER: Monk?
MAN: All right, kids! Be alert!
Adrian takes out a wipe and begins to clean the inside of his mask. The batter is looking at him in disbelief. Stottlemeyer is just sitting in the stands amused as he watches him. Adrian struggles with the mask a few times and finally gets it on.
MONK: Play ball! Time-out! Time-out!
The kids besides Stottlemeyer start to get up and then sit back down again. The captain isn’t surprised. Adrian cleans his mask again. He puts it back on and hunches down.
MONK: Play ball!
The crowd cheers, ready for the game.
MONK: Time-out. Time -- time-out. Time-out!
Everyone in the stands looks disappointed, including Sharona. Adrian bends over the home plate and begins dusting it off with a little brush.
WOMAN: Come on! Let's start! Let's go!
Adrian is continuing to clean as everyone grows impatient. Finally Sharona comes up to the edge of the fence to hiss something at him.
SHARONA: Adrian! Adrian, it's okay. It's clean enough.
He glances up at her for a moment, and then goes right back to cleaning. The ballplayers are looking rather frustrated while Stottlemeyer is just smiling to himself.
STOTTLEMEYER: OK guys, we’re gonna be here awhile – so if anybody’s got any homework they need to do – they might as well get it out now.
Adrian looks set to play again as he goes back to his spot. The crowd cheers. Adrian dusts off the catcher’s helmet and then gets set.
MONK: Play ball!
The catcher cleanly catches the ball right past the batter. Adrian’s not sure how to call it. He shoots out a hand signal to his right.
MONK: Safe!
The catcher throws it back.
MONK: Strike one! Ball! Ball one! That was a ball. That was ball one. Ball one!
The catcher, pitcher and batter just look confused. Adrian pretty much is.
MONK: No – no, it’s a strike!
Stottlemeyer is smiling again as he just watches on in amusement. The kids are getting agitated.
MONK: Strike! Ball! Ball!
CATCHER: Come on!!
Adrian signals with one hand T-shaped on the other to stop the game.
MONK: Time – time out!
He points out to the pitcher in front of him, the pitcher points to himself as if to ask "You mean me?" Adrian then points to the helmet he is wearing. He then puts either hand on each side and straightens it. The kid realizes he means his own hat and tilts the crooked hat’s rim to face the front. Adrian then tilts his helmet so that the kid tips his hat until it’s perfect. He puts his fingers together to show he’s pleased and it’s just right.
MONK: Play ball.
Next we see Adrian bending over home plate with a handy wipe, polishing it off. As he goes back to his spot, a little batter comes up and trips on the slippery surface, flat on his back. Sharona cover her eyes. Adrian looks around to see if anyone noticed. Next, he’s picking off little stray fabrics sticking up off the softball with his fingers.
Stottlemeyer is in the dugout helping kids with their homework, they’re doing math.
STOTTLEMEYER: That eighth is where you have to carry…
He looks up in surprise, as Adrian finally says something.
MONK: Change!
The crowd is still chanting in anger, primarily at Adrian. The scoreboard placer is looking rather confused on just what the call is half the time.
MONK: Ball…ball…no…strike! Saafe! Ball – ball.
The crowd is thoroughly pissed and Sharona looks embarrassed.
MONK: Do over!
Stottlemeyer sighs as his impatience shows. Scott Gregorio appears from the sidelines. We hear Sharona applauding and cheering on Benjy who’s up to bat.
SHARONA: Come on, Benjy – you can do it! Eye on the ball! Eye on the ball!
Benjy lifts the bat, Adrian is smiling behind him. He gets ready for the pitch.
BENJY: H-E-L-P…
We see Jared is now pitcher and is eyeing Benjy with a concentrative expression on his face as well. It’s like a showdown.
BENJY: Hands together…elbows up…
Jared pitches and Benjy hits it cleanly. It’s a good hit and everyone cheers. Benjy smiles as he knows he’s done it. Sharona exclaims, stands to her feet and covers her face in joy. The infielder can’t catch it, it’s a home run. Scott gives a little cheer as he watches Benjy go. The Cyclones go nuts in the pits and start rattling the fence as they run up to goad him on. Jared looks upset, and throws down his mitt. Stottlemeyer is both upset and surprised at how good Benjy did.
SHARONA: Way to go, Benjy!!
Benjy runs past the plate and finally Adrian knows the play to call. He throws out his arms broadly.
MONK: Safe! He’s safe!
Adrian pulls off his helmet and smiles. He’s proud of Benjy’s achievement. Benjy runs up to other players and high fives them. Sharona is beside herself with excitement in the stands as she turns to congratulations from the moms.
SHARONA: He’s a natural! He’s a natural! Good job, Benjy!
The whole team is congratulating Benjy now. Just then, Stottlemeyer uns up to them. He shakes Benjy’s hand.
STOTTLEMEYER: That was a nice hit!
BENJY: Thanks, Mr. Stottlemeyer!
Stottlemeyer tosses him the ball. He catches it. Stottlemeyer smiles at him.
STOTTLEMEYER: Don’t lose that! When you make it to the majors, that’s going to be worth a fortune!
Benjy’s team hugs him. Adrian, who overheard Stottlemeyer’s words, suddenly thinks of something. He covers his eyes as he realizes it’s a clue. The team is still celebrating when Sharona walks up to him.
SHARONA: You OK?
He just stares at her, and she knows the look. She smiles at him.
SHARONA: You know who killed the Hammonds, don't you?
He nods quietly and smiles, she lays her hand on his shoulder as they walk away together.
SHARONA: Adrian, you are a great detective. A terrible umpire, but a great detective.
*SCENE CHANGE*
Back at the precinct. Disher is following Stottlemeyer through to his office.
DISHER: Got that list of computer programmers who worked on global positioning systems in the Bay Area.
Stottlemeyer comes through another door, putting on his coat, Disher is still pursuing him and talking.
STOTTLEMEYER: Yeah?
DISHER: And, I checked them against applications for government permits…
STOTTLEMEYER: And?
DISHER: Nothing.
Suddenly, we hear Adrian as he and Sharona rush in next to them, a full head of steam as they think they have their man.
MONK: Captain, captain – I know where I saw him!
Adrian breezes past Stottlemeyer and takes a picture off a nearby bulletin board.
STOTTLEMEYER: Saw who?
MONK: Him!
He shows the picture to the captain.
MONK: He’s on TV. I’ve seen him a dozen times, so have you – he’s in a commercial.
STOTTLEMEYER: A TV commercial?
SHARONA: For storm windows, we made a copy of it.
Sharona hands him a VHS tape. Sharona then turns to a bewildered Disher standing off by his desk.
SHARONA: Your TV has a video player, right?
Disher just gives them an innocent look.
DISHER: What?
SHARONA: Your little TV, the one you’re always watching!
DISHER: I – ah – don’t have a TV!
Stottlemeyer is laughing as he listens to them.
STOTTLEMEYER: It’s alright, Randy. Let’s have a look.
Disher looks clearly perturbed that he’s been found out, but he pulls the tiny set out from under his desk and places it on top. Stottlemeyer slips it into the VCR attachment. Suddenly, Adrian gets in between the captain and Randy gathered around the desk.
MONK: Can I make a prediction here? You're each going to say, "Oh my God!" twice.
SHARONA: Okay, okay, here it is!
MONK: Don't blink.
We see the ad again playing, this time with someone catching Darryl Grant’s ball in the stands and then seemingly pleased fans congratulating him. Stottlemeyer and Disher recognize him.
TV ANNOUNCER: Baseball's Darryl Grant can break the single season record for home runs, but one thing he can't break is any storm window
STOTTLEMEYER: ... Oh my God!
DISHER: Oh My God!
STOTTLEMEYER: Oh –
Stottlemeyer stops when he realizes he is doing exactly what Adrian said he would, he gives him a leery look. Randy picks up the picture and looks at a confident Adrian. Sharona is smiling.
DISHER: Oh my God!
MONK: My God...
*SCENE CHANGE*
Outside the suspect’s house. Several cops show up, including Stottlemeyer’s car with Disher, and Sharona’s car with Adrian and Sharona. It’s on a cul de sac with a long stone stairway leading up to some apartments.
STOTTLEMEYER: Okay, back door, eyes open. Armed and dangerous.
The cops follow Stottlemeyer’s instructions and hold up their guns as they split up and take off for the back. They all go up the steps, with Adrian and Sharona trailing behind them at a safe distance.
MONK: I knew I'd seen that guy before.
SHARONA: Adrian, please!
We see Stottlemeyer tilt his head to look through the glass doors of the front of the suspect’s house. He is then joined by Disher, Adrian and Sharona standing behind him. Disher stands over to the captain’s left. The captain knocks on the glass.
A big dog is heard barking from inside and a man sitting in the living room looks up and then comes to the door.
STOTTLEMEYER: Walker Browning?
BROWNING: Toby!! Toby, quiet!
The dog stops barking.
STOTTLEMEYER: I’m Captain Leland Stottlemeyer of the San Francisco Police Department, this is Lt. Disher, Adrian Monk, Sharona Fleming.
BROWNING: Wh-what’s going on?
DISHER: May we come in, Mr. Browning?
BROWNING: What if I say no?
STOTTLEMEYER: Don’t say no.
The man just looks at their accusatory glances, gives a little disgruntled nod of his head and then saunters off, leaving the door open. He’s obviously angered by their intrusion.
The dog starts barking again.
BROWNING: Toby! No. Stay! Quiet.
The trio walk in behind Browning. We see Toby is a large sized Doberman behind a pretty flimsy wooden gate. Adrian looks concerned, for good reason.
MONK: Excuse me, is that dog dangerous?
BROWNING: Not to me.
DISHER: Mr. Browning, you work for Springbook Electronics in Palo Alto?
BROWNING: Ah – not anymore, I got laid off in October.
DISHER: And, you worked for their global satellite division though?
Adrian nudges Sharona to show her a ball on Browning’s mantle that seems to be on display pretty proudly.
BROWNING: Ahhh…that’s right. Can I ask what this is all about?
Stottlemeyer sees Browning’s display and steps up to it to examine it closely. Browning freaks at it being touched. Toby starts growling again.
STOTTLEMEYER: Whoa, hey – is that ’73?
BROWNING: Ah, yes it is – just – please don’t – don’t touch it.
Stottlemeyer puts up his hands and backs off, but he gives Randy a look that he knows he’s up to something.
STOTTLEMEYER: Must have been quite a day for you, huh, catching that ball?
We see several clipping posted all around the baseball on every inch of the wall.
BROWNING: Yeah…
STOTTLEMEYER: That’s a piece of history right there!
BROWNING: Yeah…I wasn’t even planning on going to the ballpark that day. Huh – a friend of mine had an extra ticket. It’s funny – huh – just BAPP!
He smiles at Stottlemeyer and his mood seems to shift of pride. Then he clicks his fingers to elaborate his point, it seems to really bug Adrian.
BROWNING: Your whole life can change! Just like that!
STOTTLEMEYER: Just like that…
Stottlemeyer smiles at Adrian and Sharona, and then Disher steps up to the fore, he walks closer to Browning.
DISHER: I understand you’ve been in touch with an auction house in New York. You selling the ball?
BROWNING: That’s right, Toby and I have been having a little bit of a cash flow problem – so I figure the $500 grand could come in handy…
STOTTLEMEYER: Five hun – no that ball is worth like $3 million.
BROWNING: Uhhh…nahh…
Adrian walks closer to Browning now as he speaks.
MONK: What would happen I wonder – if Scott Gregorio broke Darryl Grant’s record?
BROWNING: I don't know.
DISHER: I'll tell you what would happen. That $3 million baseball would suddenly be worth roughly, uh, nothing.
BROWNING: Yeah, but it doesn't matter 'cause, uh, with the slump Gregorio's in, he's not going to be breaking any records.
MONK: You made sure of that, didn't you, Walker, when you murdered the woman he loved? Catching that ball must've been the best day of your life.
We go into a black and white flashback scene explaining the crime.
MONK: A few weeks ago, you decided to sell it, but you discovered there were no buyers because the record was about to be broken.
STOTTLEMEYER: So you panicked. You had to protect your investment.
MONK: You went after Gregorio outside the stadium. You were trying to break a leg or an arm or anything to keep him out of the lineup. But that didn't work.
STOTTLEMEYER: After that, he was surrounded by bodyguards 24/7. You knew you'd never have another chance.
SHARONA: But he was vulnerable in another way. He was in love with Lawrence Hammond's wife, and you knew it.
The dog starts growling, Adrian looks nervous again.
MONK: OK – uh – has that dog been fed recently?
BROWNING: Hammond the millionaire? This is insane.
MONK: You knew Hammond's schedule. The board of directors' meeting was well-publicized. The night before, you broke into his garage and replaced his global positioning disc with one that you programmed yourself. Hammond followed the directions, and all you had to do was wait.
SHARONA: And all because you wanted to sell a baseball.
BROWNING: No, you can't prove any of this.
STOTTLEMEYER: Here's a little tip for you, Walker. Next time you wipe down a stolen car, make sure that you get the adjustment bar under the driver's side seat. Because we lifted a thumb print, and I'm betting it's yours.
BROWNING: Toby! Achtung!
Browning frees Toby by pulling open the gate. Adrian suddenly grabs the shoulder of Stottlemeyer’s jacket in self-defense. The captain looks upset and nervous himself.
MONK: Captain, I'm done, right? I think I'm done.
STOTTLEMEYER: Monk, stop!
As Browning grabs for his prized ball, Randy jumps him and throws him to the floor – despite the dog. The other officers come in and try to wrestle with him, now Toby is growling at Stottlemeyer, Adrian and Sharona. Adrian stands near the door. The captain tries to reason with the pooch. The dog has the ball in his mouth. Stottlemeyer bends over the dog and talks like he’s talking to a child.
STOTTLEMEYER: Toby, good daaawg! Good boy – good boy – give me the ball!
Randy spins around to realize the ball is gone and sees the dog with it.
DISHER: The ball! Toby – give the ball to the captain!
STOTTLEMEYER: Toby, good boy – give me the baawl, Toby! Good boy Toby!
Randy puts up his hand to signal to the captain that he’s got an idea. He puts his fingers together and waves them beside the dog.
DISHER: Toby! Toby release!
The captain gives a look of disbelief to Randy when understandably the dog doesn’t do anything. Sharona and Adrian look at him the same. Randy kneels beside Toby.
DISHER: OK, OK – just give me the ball!
STOTTLEMEYER: Monk!
MONK: Toby, sit!
The dog doesn’t do anything but then charges for him. Adrian suddenly opens the door and the dog runs out. He shuts it behind him.
MONK: I – I’ve never been good with animals.
Stottlemeyer signals Disher now to go after the ball like he’s his lapdog.
STOTTLEMEYER: Go! Go – fetch! Get the ball! Get the ball!
Adrian shields himself behind the door again and opens it as Randy sprints past him to go outside. Randy chases the dog down the steps.
DISHER: Toby!!! Toby, heel! Toby, freeze! Heel! Heel!
The dog runs past an officer at the bottom of the steps who does nothing. Randy comes running past him as well and gives him a look of disgust.
DISHER: Heel! Get the dog!!
*SCENE CHANGE*
The baseball stadium. Inside Scott Gregorio is giving an impromptu press conference on the capture of Walker Browning. It’s inside the shower room.
FEMALE REPORTER: Scott, you’re on page to break the all-time home run record, you fell three short – are you disappointed?
The light from the cameras shine on him. He talks as Adrian and Sharona listen from a distance away.
SCOTT: Of course I am, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.
MALE REPORTER: Do you have any comment about the arrest of Walker Browning? According to the district attorney’s office, you were the reason he killed Mr. and Mrs. Hammond?
SCOTT: Please – that’s my private life, I’d like to keep it that way.
He turns to Adrian across the room and looks him right in the eye.
SCOTT: But – I would like to say – I met a man recently. He’s become a good friend. He reminded me, there are a lot more important things in life than baseball…
Adrian seems touched, and Sharona smiles at him silently as he absorbs Scott’s words.
SCOTT: What matters most are the people you love. Being true to them or their memory -- that's the real ball game. My friend isn't giving up on that, and neither am I.
Suddenly, a man walking by covered only by a towel, flashes it open in front of Adrian who recoils in horror and looks away. Sharona doesn’t even blink.
SCOTT: I'll see you all in spring training.
Adrian is closing his eyes and trying to block out the evil vision of another naked man. Sharona is so blissful, not even fazed a bit. She rubs Adrian’s back.
*SCENE CHANGE*
They are at a park that has a large Greek conservatory across a duck pond. Adrian and Sharona walk along the pond’s edge.
SHARONA: I wish you were sitting in yesterday. Benjy had two singles and a double. I’m so proud of him!
Adrian looks happy as he counts posts.
MONK: You should be!
SHARONA: Next time he’s going to bat clean-up. Sounds like something you would do…clean up, get it?
Adrian just smiles and nods.
MONK: Yeah, I get it.
Suddenly, across on the lawn, they notice Toby eating the baseball that they for so long lost. He stops Sharona from walking past.
SHARONA: Is that Browning’s dog?
MONK: I – I think that’s the baseball!
SHARONA: Oh my God!
She runs without fear up to the doberman, and in no uncertain terms, gets him to drop the ball. Adrian backs away.
SHARONA: Toby! Toby! Drop the ball, drop it!
The dog does so obediently, knowing who’s boss and runs off. Sharona picks up the sloberry item that is no longer really a ball anymore and holds it up for Adrian’s inspection, he stands at a safe distance.
SHARONA: Eww…ssshesh – uh! God – it’s all chewed up!
MONK; Uhh – it’s a pretty expensive chew toy!
SHARONA: It sure is!
MONK: Though – it’s kind of fitting though don’t you think?
SHARONA: What?
MONK: Nobody ends up with the money, a dog chews it all up!
Adrian starts to laugh lightly.
SHARONA: This dog chewed up three million dollars. And I can't even afford a tank of gas.
MONK: So you're holding, what, about $20,000 right there? You could put three, four tanks of premium in your car with that. You know what? Consider that a Christmas bonus.
They begin to walk away together.
SHARONA: Like you would ever give me a Christmas bonus.
MONK: I want you to go out and buy yourself something pretty.
SHARONA: Yeah, right!
MONK: Don't save it. You don't have to save the money.
